Lies Your Parents Told You to Stay Sane

Voting Rules
Upvote the lies you heard from your parents or the lies you use on your own kids!

We were all taught by our parents at a young age that lying is very, very bad. However, despite the fact that our parents held us accountable for lying to them, they didn't necessarily have the same standards for themselves. This list is full of lies all parents tell, most of which would be categorized as little white lies, or tiny fibs that our parents told us to keep us from going absolutely insane. Though our parents always preached that honesty was the best policy, looking back on their discrepancies, it's pretty clear that most of their lies were told in order to keep themselves from going absolutely insane as well.

For instance, why did we never consider that Santa was probably way too busy to spend 365 days a year constantly creeping on us? Why did we never question why our parents had eyes in the back of their head, but we didn't? How in the hell did they always, always know that we were lying about who ate the last cookie? 

Many of these lies parents tell actually kept us safer and probably helped us become less annoying people in general. Which of these parental lies do you remember being told as a child? Parents, which of these lies have you used on your kids in order to maintain your sanity? 

Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License

  • 1
    1,337 VOTES

    Because I Said So

    The four words that stopped every kid in their tracks. We've been trained since a young age to take our parents word for it, and frustrating as this phrase is, it has ended many arguments. 

    1,337 votes
  • 2
    1,264 VOTES

    If You Sit Too Close to the TV, You'll Ruin Your Eyesight

    While some kids may have counterbalanced this lie with overeating carrots, the thought of having to wear glasses was enough to take a few steps back from the tube. Also it became very clear that chilling on the couch was far superior than sitting on the floor and having to crane your neck.  

    1,264 votes
  • 3
    1,051 VOTES

    We're Almost There!

    Isn't it funny that as adults, we now look forward to road trips? But for kids, something about the open road and their tiny bladders makes it impossible not to constantly ask the inevitable question, "are we there yet?" Bless our parents for not driving off the road in a rage.
    1,051 votes
  • 4
    1,092 VOTES

    We'll Come Back Another Time

    The promise of a second trip to the toy store is enough to keep any kid from dragging the shelves along with them on the way out. Even if it never ends up happening, most kids will probably forget about it in five minutes anyway.   

    1,092 votes
  • 5
    952 VOTES

    I Don't Know

    "Mom, why is the sky blue?" "Dad, why do dogs bark?" Even if our parents had all the answers, we get why they wanted us to shut the f*** up sometimes.  A simple, "I don't know" usually did the trick.

    952 votes
  • 6
    953 VOTES

    It Won't Hurt!

    We don't care what our parents said, getting a shot from the doctor was akin to being poked by Grim's scythe. They may have said it wouldn't hurt, but they were wrong.
    953 votes