1.2k voters

The Best 'Life of Brian Movie' Quotes

Updated December 2, 2019 3.3k votes 1.2k voters 90.1k views25 items

For all you Monty Python fans, here are the best quotes from Life of Brian, ranked by fans like you. Life of Brian is a Monty Python production dating back to 1979 of a hapless man mistaken as a Messiah. The movie was a satirical comedy of biblical proportions and, since the topic was religion, was summarily misunderstood by the public. Banned in several countries for blasphemy and such, the film was ironically a huge box office success, perhaps due to the reverse psychology and notoriety.  Nevertheless, there are a lot of funny lines from Life of Brian, and the film still holds up to this day.

What are your favorite Life of Brian quotes? Upvote the ones you love below and watch the rise to the top of the list.
  • 1. Biggus D*ckus

    Video: YouTube

    Pontius Pilate: So, yaw fatha was a Woman? Who was he?

    Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrisons

    Pontius Pilate: Weally? What was his name?

    Brian: Naughtius Maximus.

    Pontius Pilate: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?

    Centurion: Well, no, sir.

    Pontius Pilate: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?

    Centurion: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir... like, uh, "Sillius Soddus" or... "Biggus D*ckus," sir.

    Pontius Pilate: What's so funny about "Biggus D*ckus"?

    Centurion: Well, it's a joke name, sir.

    Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called Biggus D*ckus.   Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.

    Brian: Can I go now, sir? Aaah! Eh.

    Pontius Pilate: Wait till Biggus D*ckus hears of this!

    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 2. Men And Babies

    Video: YouTube
    Stan: I want to have babies.
    Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
    Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
    Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
    Stan: Don't you oppress me!
    Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 3. What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us?

    Video: YouTube

    Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
    PFJ Member: Brought peace?
    Reg: Oh, peace? SHUT UP!

    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 4. Always Look On The Bright Side of Life

    Video: YouTube

    Man: Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say: some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble; give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best. And... always look on the bright side of life...

    Should this be higher or lower?