Total Nerd 21 Reasons Why Lois Lane Is Terrible at Her Job  

Jimmy Andreakos
516 votes 135 voters 3.9k views 21 items

Lois Lane gets a lot of praise for her strong-willed, independent, and tenacious attitude. She isn't one to sit still and let life pass her by. She’s up before dawn and awake at all hours, chasing down leads, uncovering truths, and interviewing the tastemakers of the day. At least, that’s what she wants you to think. But have you ever noticed that Lois Lane is so envious of the effortless abilities of Superman that she is subconsciously competing with him? Her attempts to marry him also come across as a tad bit desperate, and her strength is drawn from the fact that she knows that Superman will be there to rescue her, no matter what.  

Sure, she’s never played the halpless princess in need of rescuing, but most of what she accomplishes in real life is based on luck, or comes to her by way of exploiting Superman's powers. We've put together a list of reason why Lois Lane actually sucks at her job, as well as reasons why she would be an insufferable co-worker. Vote up the best reasons why Lois Lane is a crappy journalist below, and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section. 
1 40 VOTES

Superman Is Her Kryptonite

Superman Is Her Kryptonite is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 21 Reasons Why Lois Lane Is Terrible at Her Job
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Superman is basically the power of the sun in human form. He has X-ray vision, enough strength to throw Earth into another galaxy, and of course, permanently ripped abs. He's always been effortlessly handsome, and is successful in every endeavor. But for all of his inherent strengths, he still has one weakness: Kryptonite.  

Everyone has their own version of Superman's Kryptonite. But what about Lois Lane? What's her biggest weakness? The one thing that can break Lois Lane's steely resolve is the Man of Steel himself. Of course, she's too close to the situation to see it for herself, but Superman can be pegged as the reason for all of her journalistic failures. She's obsessed with him, and even after years of trying to guess his secret identity, Clark Kent can still get the scoop faster and better than she can.  

Let's face it - Lane couldn't get herself out of half of the situations she's tackled without Superman's help. And that Pulitzer prize she won? She never would have gotten it if she hadn't been waxing poetic about her beau. 

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2 30 VOTES

She Masquerades Passive Aggressive Scorn as "Journalism"

She Masquerades Passive Aggres... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 21 Reasons Why Lois Lane Is Terrible at Her Job
Photo: via Wikimedia

In Superman Returns, we get a glimpse of a reality where Superman has decided to take a brief five-year break after saving the world. Understandably, he's earned this little vacation. His job is loaded with undue pressure, super villains, and PTSD. Even the Man of Steel needs to take a break from the daily grind every once in awhile.  

Instead of being chill and understanding about his need for a little vacay, Lois Lane decides to publish a passive-egressive article titled, "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman." She should have more accurately titled the article, "Why I'm Totally Not Over My Ex-Boyfriend, Even Though He Saved Me - and Everyone on the Planet - from Lex Luthor a Few Years Ago." 

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3 36 VOTES

She Pretends to Be in Danger to Get Her Own Way

She Pretends to Be in Danger t... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 21 Reasons Why Lois Lane Is Terrible at Her Job
Photo: via Reddit

How far would you go to get an interview with somebody famous? Would you hang out at places they’ve been seen? Approach them if you see them in public and ask politely? Maybe find out if you had some mutual friends or contacts? Possibly use your leverage as head writer at one of the nation's biggest papers to play on their ego? What about driving your car off a cliff into a lake and hoping that they come save you? Does that sound reasonable? Because it did to Lois back in Superman #1  

When Lane fails to get Superman's attention in all of the usual ways, she resorts to emotional abuse and manipulation. Lane pretends that she's having a life-or-death emergency so that Superman will stop saving other people and rush to her side. This basically puts her skills as an investigator on the same level as the Boy Who Cried Wolf. She causes Superman to believe that she is actually dying, and actively prevents him from helping people in real emergencies. Homegirl really needs to sort out her co-dependency issues - this behavior is abusive, and she should probably go get some counseling if she thinks it's okay to fake her own immanent peril in order to land a crappy interview. 
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4 24 VOTES

She Fully Depends on Superman

She Fully Depends on Superman is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 21 Reasons Why Lois Lane Is Terrible at Her Job
Photo: via Reddit
When Lois Lane is reporting a story, there's bound to be a little bit of trouble. After all, good journalists are expected to stick their neck out in order to get a good scoop. Lane, however, often gets herself into boiling hot water, and expects Superman to save her. She's definitely not above using Superman for his powers and strength whenever she can, and often seeks out stories with danger factors on purpose, because she knows that Superman will save the day. 
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