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21 Reasons Why Lois Lane Is Terrible at Her Job

Updated November 6, 2017 797 votes 160 voters 4.4k views21 items

Lois Lane gets a lot of praise for her strong-willed, independent, and tenacious attitude. She isn't one to sit still and let life pass her by. She’s up before dawn and awake at all hours, chasing down leads, uncovering truths, and interviewing the tastemakers of the day. At least, that’s what she wants you to think. But have you ever noticed that Lois Lane is so envious of the effortless abilities of Superman that she is subconsciously competing with him? Her attempts to marry him also come across as a tad bit desperate, and her strength is drawn from the fact that she knows that Superman will be there to rescue her, no matter what.  

Sure, she’s never played the halpless princess in need of rescuing, but most of what she accomplishes in real life is based on luck, or comes to her by way of exploiting Superman's powers. We've put together a list of reason why Lois Lane actually sucks at her job, as well as reasons why she would be an insufferable co-worker. Vote up the best reasons why Lois Lane is a crappy journalist below, and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section. 
  • 1

    Superman Is Her Kryptonite

    Superman is basically the power of the sun in human form. He has X-ray vision, enough strength to throw Earth into another galaxy, and of course, permanently ripped abs. He's always been effortlessly handsome, and is successful in every endeavor. But for all of his inherent strengths, he still has one weakness: Kryptonite.  

    Everyone has their own version of Superman's Kryptonite. But what about Lois Lane? What's her biggest weakness? The one thing that can break Lois Lane's steely resolve is the Man of Steel himself. Of course, she's too close to the situation to see it for herself, but Superman can be pegged as the reason for all of her journalistic failures. She's obsessed with him, and even after years of trying to guess his secret identity, Clark Kent can still get the scoop faster and better than she can.  

    Let's face it - Lane couldn't get herself out of half of the situations she's tackled without Superman's help. And that Pulitzer prize she won? She never would have gotten it if she hadn't been waxing poetic about her beau. 

    Agree or disagree?
  • 2

    She Pretends to Be in Danger to Get Her Own Way

    How far would you go to get an interview with somebody famous? Would you hang out at places they’ve been seen? Approach them if you see them in public and ask politely? Maybe find out if you had some mutual friends or contacts? Possibly use your leverage as head writer at one of the nation's biggest papers to play on their ego? What about driving your car off a cliff into a lake and hoping that they come save you? Does that sound reasonable? Because it did to Lois back in Superman #1  

    When Lane fails to get Superman's attention in all of the usual ways, she resorts to emotional abuse and manipulation. Lane pretends that she's having a life-or-death emergency so that Superman will stop saving other people and rush to her side. This basically puts her skills as an investigator on the same level as the Boy Who Cried Wolf. She causes Superman to believe that she is actually dying, and actively prevents him from helping people in real emergencies. Homegirl really needs to sort out her co-dependency issues - this behavior is abusive, and she should probably go get some counseling if she thinks it's okay to fake her own immanent peril in order to land a crappy interview. 
    Agree or disagree?
  • 3

    She Asks Really Dumb Questions

    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY

    When humans first make contact with aliens, they speak to General Zod on a live broadcast. He informs earth that Superman has been hiding among them, and demands that we surrender him.    

    Upon discovering that Superman is, in fact, an alien, Lois Lane is the only person who is allowed to interview him. She could have asked him any question in the world - What's his home planet like? Are there other friendly life forms out there? Is Fox Mulder's abducted sister alive and well on another planet? But Lane decides to ask him the dumbest question of all time: "What does the S stand for?"  

    Superman informs her that the S-shaped symbol on his uniform is not a human letter "S," but rather, a symbol of hope for his people. Instead of asking a followup question, she makes a flippant remark and carries on. 
    Agree or disagree?
  • 4

    She's Verbally Abusive to Her Co-Workers

    Photo: flickr / CC0

    Have you ever had one of those co-workers who makes up incredibly irritating, condescending nicknames for people in the office? That's basically Lois Lane's role at the Daily Planet. The first two or three times she calls Clark Kent "Smallville," or Jimmy Olsen "Genius" it might be kind of funny, but the more she uses these kind of belittling nicknames, the more hostile the work environment becomes. She insists on de-humanizing her co-workers every time she speaks to them, and mocks them with glib insults and copious eye-rolling.  

    Lane might think she's being ballsy and tough, but really, she could use a little workplace sensitivity training.

    Agree or disagree?