In the era of Zoom dates and real-time text conversations, long distance relationships have never been easier. Unfortunately, being "easier" isn't the same as being easy. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work then check out these stories of long distance relationship failures and try not to make the same mistakes.
- 19 VOTES
They Couldn't Handle The Lack Of Physical Contact
From Redditor u/columpioasesino:
Mine failed because (1) I can't be without physical intimate contact for so long, (2) our financial situation doesn't allow us to be traveling to each other as much as we'd like, (3) it would be an indefinite amount of years until we could live relatively close to each other, and (4) the distance was driving my emotions further apart from her. Considering my emotions and financial burden, we couldn't see how we could have a successful LDR.
- 26 VOTES
Neither One Of Them Wanted To Move For The Other
From Redditor u/iMaressa:
My first LDR failed because we grew apart over time and our desires in life changed as well. Ultimately I wanted to stay where I was and he wanted to stay where he was and there was no way out so we ended it.
- 323 VOTES
They Couldn't Find The Time To Call Or Even Message
From Redditor u/epic-potato-chip:
Mine recently ended over communication issues. My former spouse was always too busy to call, or even message, and when he did, it would be about really little things, like 'I'm cold' or whatever. He would neglect to tell me about big things that were going on in his life. It got to the point where it was like he was a stranger. I was super lonely and got really sick of being ignored.
I moved to Japan (his country, although we're about 6 hours away), and thought things might be easier with the smaller distance, but things didn't get any better, and I couldn't take it anymore.
- 420 VOTES
They Couldn't Balance Work And Life
From Redditor u/DecaBlade:
Mine failed when we couldn't handle our own workload. I'm an ROTC cadet in his evaluation year and she is a student teacher in college 9 hours away. We basically ran out of time to even talk to each other. The stress became too much to handle and maintain a relationship at the same time so we decided to break up mutually. It's odd, however, because we were best friends. Now, we text almost every day as friends. It's hard to not be her boyfriend because we never really had a huge reason to split. I think it will all work out though.
- 517 VOTES
They Didn't Have A Plan For When The Long Distance Would Be Over
From Redditor u/hwarner27:
I just ended my 3-year LDR about two weeks ago. There were a lot of contributing factors. The biggest one, I think, was not knowing when the long-distance part would be over. I feel like in order for an LDR to work, you have to make future plans to eventually be in the same place. Now, it may be a month or 5 years into the future, but just the comfort of knowing that it won't last forever is important. Long-distance forces you to have a much more direct and open line of communication with your SO than a traditional relationship. You have to talk about your future and be much more upfront about your goals and expectations, otherwise, the struggle isn't worth it. In a traditional relationship, those conversations come much later. My SO and I always talked hypothetically about it, but when it boiled down to it, I don't think either one of us was willing to give up our lives in our respective cities. On top of that, I felt like I was missing so much. I needed physical contact, not just phone calls. Then there is jealousy and trust issues that go with long distance. Finding the time to effectively communicate was a struggle with our busy schedules. Who knows, maybe someday the circumstances will be right for us to try things again.
- 61 VOTES
Neither Of Them Would Be Able To Afford To Visit The Other
From Redditor u/WheresTibbers:
We met in a video game. Skype, movie nights and Ventrilo is all we had. From the USA to Australia is a big distance. Neither of us would ever have the money to afford a trip so we knew it was pointless for our age. However, it was the best decision we could have made.