Jokes The Funniest Jokes With Long Set Ups That Are Totally Worth the Wait  

Evan Lambert
59.7k votes 16.7k voters 441.8k views 19 items

List Rules Everyone: vote up the funniest joke!

Patience is a virtue, especially when you're waiting for the punchline of a good joke. Every now and then in life, you'll come across someone who feels the need to make you wait a few minutes until they get to the punchline. Most of the time, it's worth it. Vote on your favorite funny long jokes!
1 5,207 VOTES

A poor man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
 

The poor man nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies, "A pair of slippers and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The poor man astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go f*ck herself."

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2 6,405 VOTES

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
 

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"


The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
 

"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
 

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
 

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
 

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :


 "Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

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3 4,512 VOTES

A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store.

He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "F*ck you, get out, stay out!" The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"

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A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane.

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
 

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.


The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
 

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

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