Movie Quotes Madea's Witness Protection Movie Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
331 votes 199 voters 57.2k views 12 items
We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, Ranker may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

'Madea's Witness Protection' movie quotes include some great lines from this 2012 Tyler Perry comedy. 'Witness Protection' is the latest in the wildly popular 'Madea' movie franchise that began with 2005's 'Diary of a Black Woman' and also includes 2006's 'Madea's Family Reunion,' 2008's 'Madea Goes to Jail' and 2011's 'Madea's Big Happy Family.' Tyler Perry wrote, directed and stars in 'Madea's Witness Protection' as Madea: the wise-cracking grandma everyone adores. Not surprisingly, many of these 'Madea's Witness Protection' quotes are hilarious, so be sure to vote for your favorites (and vote down any quotes you don't like). Also, if you know of a great 'Madea's Witness Protection' quote that isn't listed, add it!

Madea is back in 'Madea's Witness Protection,' providing a safe haven for Wall Street big shot George Needleman (Eugene Levy). George's company is accused of running a massive Ponzi scheme with help from the mob. George is in huge trouble, because he's the "fall guy," so everyone -- especially the mob -- is looking to do him in. As a result, George and his family, including wife Kate (Denise Richards) and mom Barbara (Doris Roberts), are put into the witness protection program. Lo and behold, where do they wind up? At Madea's house, of course!

If you're interested in great movie quotes from other films, check out some of these lists for the best lines from 'Tyler Perry's Good Deeds,' 'Ted,' 'That's My Boy,' 'Men in Black III,' 'Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted,' 'The Dictator,' 'The Sitter,' 'The Three Stooges,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'American Reunion,' 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter' and 'Piranha 3DD.'
1 115 VOTES

Taste the Rainbow

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Howie: "You're so huge, like a giant bag of Skittles."
Madea: "You better get the hell up or when I come back up in here you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna taste the rainbowwwwwww."

George Needleman's son, Howie (Devan Leos), learns the same lesson his dad learns: Get up out of bed and do NOT sleep in or smart off to Madea. Ever.
96 19
Should this be higher or lower?
2 19 VOTES

Greatest Christianity Thing

Greatest Christianity Thing is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Madea's Witness Protection Movie Quotes
Photo: via Pinterest

Madea: "The answer's a flat-out 'no' and I am not changing my mind."
Brian: "Four thousand dollars a month..."
Madea: "I believe it would be the greatest Christianity thing I could do to help somebody in need..."

When Brian Simmons first approaches Madea about hiding the Needleman family, she's absolutely against it. What changes her mind? It's not the "Christianity thing," it's the cash...
17 2
Should this be higher or lower?
3 26 VOTES

Spooning With Madea

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Madea (to George): "If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon."
George: "I'm up!"

Madea does NOT take kindly to sleeping in. George Needleman would be well served to remember that, otherwise he's gonna get spooned.
22 4
Should this be higher or lower?
4 30 VOTES

If It's Brown, Pour It

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Madea: "Flight attendant?"
Flight Attendant: "Yes ma'am?"
Madea: "I would like something to drink, please, because I need something to relax me just a little bit."
Flight Attendant: "Okay, what would you like?"
Madea: "That depends, how much is it?"
Stewardess: "Your in first class it's free."
Madea: "Okay, well bring me every damn thing you got back there. If it's brown, pour it."

Madea's journey to New York is first class, all the way, and she takes full advantage of it. She's definitely a fearful flyer, but alcohol might help. And free alcohol? Yeah, keep pouring...
24 6
Should this be higher or lower?