Madea's Witness Protection Movie Quotes 

Movie and TV Quotes
Updated June 8, 2017 350 votes 212 voters 58.4k views 12 items

'Madea's Witness Protection' movie quotes include some great lines from this 2012 Tyler Perry comedy. 'Witness Protection' is the latest in the wildly popular 'Madea' movie franchise that began with 2005's 'Diary of a Black Woman' and also includes 2006's 'Madea's Family Reunion,' 2008's 'Madea Goes to Jail' and 2011's 'Madea's Big Happy Family.' Tyler Perry wrote, directed and stars in 'Madea's Witness Protection' as Madea: the wise-cracking grandma everyone adores. Not surprisingly, many of these 'Madea's Witness Protection' quotes are hilarious, so be sure to vote for your favorites (and vote down any quotes you don't like). Also, if you know of a great 'Madea's Witness Protection' quote that isn't listed, add it!

Madea is back in 'Madea's Witness Protection,' providing a safe haven for Wall Street big shot George Needleman (Eugene Levy). George's company is accused of running a massive Ponzi scheme with help from the mob. George is in huge trouble, because he's the "fall guy," so everyone -- especially the mob -- is looking to do him in. As a result, George and his family, including wife Kate (Denise Richards) and mom Barbara (Doris Roberts), are put into the witness protection program. Lo and behold, where do they wind up? At Madea's house, of course!

If you're interested in great movie quotes from other films, check out some of these lists for the best lines from 'Tyler Perry's Good Deeds,' 'Ted,' 'That's My Boy,' 'Men in Black III,' 'Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted,' 'The Dictator,' 'The Sitter,' 'The Three Stooges,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'American Reunion,' 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter' and 'Piranha 3DD.'
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Taste the Rainbow
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Howie: "You're so huge, like a giant bag of Skittles."
Madea: "You better get the hell up or when I come back up in here you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna taste the rainbowwwwwww."

George Needleman's son, Howie (Devan Leos), learns the same lesson his dad learns: Get up out of bed and do NOT sleep in or smart off to Madea. Ever.
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If It's Brown, Pour It
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Madea: "Flight attendant?"
Flight Attendant: "Yes ma'am?"
Madea: "I would like something to drink, please, because I need something to relax me just a little bit."
Flight Attendant: "Okay, what would you like?"
Madea: "That depends, how much is it?"
Stewardess: "Your in first class it's free."
Madea: "Okay, well bring me every damn thing you got back there. If it's brown, pour it."

Madea's journey to New York is first class, all the way, and she takes full advantage of it. She's definitely a fearful flyer, but alcohol might help. And free alcohol? Yeah, keep pouring...
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Spooning With Madea
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Madea (to George): "If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon."
George: "I'm up!"

Madea does NOT take kindly to sleeping in. George Needleman would be well served to remember that, otherwise he's gonna get spooned.
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Hide Five White Folks
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Madea: "I wanna know how the hell I'm suppose to hide five white folks. If the police come in this neighborhood they don't even come in a a white car, they send a black SUV!"

When Madea's nephew, Brian Simmons (Tyler Perry) informs her that the people she's agreed to hide are white, she's understandably not sure if they'll be incognito in her neighborhood.
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