It can't be easy to clean up another's person's mess. Many people hardly like to clean up after themselves, making maids and housekeepers saints among us. They tidy others' messes, dust, wash dishes, mop floors, and are rarely paid enough to compensate for the grueling work they're required to do. Indeed, cleaning service personnel usually clean so well that they leave sparkles and the heavenly scent of Pine-Sol in their wake. Some lucky customers even receive a mint on their pillow after exceptionally great cleaning services.
In return for the kindness, what do customers leave their housekeepers? Reddit users have banded together to relay the tales. In horrifying detail they tell of poop stains, toilets clogged with all manners of interesting debris, and rooms sordid with the residue of sex.
If you've the stomach for it, read the stories below and please considerate of the next person that has to clean up after you.
Certain Tenants Only Need Six Hours To Ruin Six Rooms
From Reddit user Aparty:
"One day my partner and I spent the whole day cleaning and preparing a house (six bedrooms, three bathrooms) for the tenants to come that afternoon. We left it in showroom quality, like we always did. The next day we got to work to find out that the tenants came in and spent only six hours in the house before leaving. They had a huge party with hookers and destroyed the place. We weren't allowed to clean it right away; they left it in such bad shape insurance adjusters had to be called in.
"There was broken furniture, stiletto heel marks indented into the floors, and the pool table fabric was ripped. There were sh*t stains on the beds, the couches, and the pool table. Fake eyelashes and hair extensions [were] stuck to the beds. It took a maintenance man three hours to clear the house of empty bottles (usually our job but he wanted to return them for the cash.) So my partner and I got to work cleaning; in the bathroom there was a terrible stench of sh*t that wasn't apparent from the start. It was three or four days before we were allowed into the house to start cleaning so we really didn't expect to see what we did...
So it's time to clean the toilet and I pulled the lid up. Holy f*ck. The toilet was filled with sh*t. I didn't stick around to examine it but I know it was layered, sh*t, condoms, toilet paper, repeat. It was filled within an inch to the brim. I called for my partner who was in a different part of the house because we needed to discuss how we would deal with it. [We] decided to call the maintenance guy with the strongest stomach and he had to come with huge rubber gloves and dig it out with his hands.
"We finished cleaning the house and went home. Then I called my boss and told her I'd be handing in my notice. F*ck that job."
Late Checkouts Were The Least Of Their Concerns
From Reddit user FlameEverlasting:
"I had been calling this room because checkout time was long past, and no one was answering. Eventually a pissed off guy picked up. I told him he could either check out or pay for another night. He hung up on me. Fifteen minutes later, he called semi-apologetically, saying that someone was sick, and that they couldn't leave. Okay, you can either check out or pay for another night. Suddenly furious, he hangs up on me again. I charge the card for another night.
"The next day the room is on my list to clean. I knock and say, "Housekeeping." No answer. I open the door to find a man receiving a blow job [from] a very busty naked woman... They both look me in they eyes, while continuing to do their thing. Very high creep factor. I ran out of there. Later when cleaning the room I found nineteen used condoms (they had been there for under 48 hours), two empty bottles of KY, a porno mag, an empty box of enemas, several used latex gloves, several crusty j*zz 'splosions on the walls and floor, and the woman's greasy naked body prints on every mirror, window and wall."
You Can't Clean A Toilet Without An Audience
From Reddit user doveinabottle:
"I worked as a maid one summer and I got called to clean an over flowed toilet. I get in the room and head to the bathroom. The toilet hadn't exactly over flowed. To my untrained eye, it looked like lot of poop got stuck [during flushing], clogged, broke up, and then coated the entire inside and outside of the toilet. The once white toilet was literally covered in sh*t and was now brown.
"It was horrific. The woman in the room kept coming in and asking me if I was done yet, as I was on my hands and knees scrubbing her sh*t off the toilet."
Even A Team Of Two Had Trouble Cleaning This Mess
From Reddit user cheydrew52:
"My mother cleans private homes and cabins at a local golf course. The very first time I went with her I was 15 or 16 and we were cleaning up the rented cabins, which usually aren't bad because all most golfers are looking for is a place to shower and sleep.
"Anyway, we walk in and the stench is beyond disgusting. We get to looking around and there are empty bottles of liquor and beer lying around. Needless to say, there was a huge party there the night before.
"Before long I find a huge puddle of puke containing half eaten pieces of steak, corn, and some other unidentified objects. I had to scrape that sh*t off the floor. Meanwhile, my mother has started on the bathroom. I go in there to tell her what I had just finished doing with the puke and find her just standing there. I took one look around and started laughing. Someone had taken a sh*t in the tub, stepped in it, walked to the toilet, sh*t some more there but missed because there was a pile of it by the toilet, wiped off their foot with a whole roll of toilet paper, proceeded to crack the sink in half (how?), and walk to bed only to puke on the bed..."