18 Satisfying Revenge Stories Of People Doing EXACTLY What They Were Told To Do

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Vote up the best stories.

The best kind of revenge is when it happens without even lifting a finger. These stories of satisfying revenge aren't a result of vindictive schemes, but rather people following unreasonable orders and letting karma do the rest of the work. Vote up the best stories!

Some posts have been edited due to length. All posts courtesy of r/maliciouscompliance.


  • 1
    5,470 VOTES

    Need The Files You Told Me To Delete? Sorry, I Deleted Them

    From Redditor u/oldman712:

    My job was to design and write software prototypes for individual high-value customers. If they liked it well enough, then a real software engineering team would build the real product. Occasionally, I would run the prototype for a few months while the customer evaluated if they wanted to buy the real project.

    Now these prototypes are not a lot of code, but they do run with a lot of data. Even compressed, it can be a terabyte or more. Having done this work for years, I've accumulated a small disk farm of past projects, which can be very useful when a customer asks for something just like we did last year, but with a small change or two. The company resisted buying hard drives for this, but it saves me so much time, I ended up buying one or two a year myself until I accumulated about 10 of them. Figure over $1000 worth of external drives.

    Then unexpectedly management changes, new management thinks they can replace old software guy with a cheaper new software grad and I am laid off, with two weeks to "train" my replacement. (Yes, it's blatant age discrimination, but impossible to fight, so I just went for a graceful transition to my next job.)

    Except, I have $1000 of personal disk drives with old customer data on them. Company insists that no ex-employees may take any company data off premises and all files must be deleted. I don't want to just leave the drives at the company, but they insist I must delete all data before taking them home. So I offer: They can buy them from me.

    I will eventually use them for something else, but I can leave the data on them in case someone needs it

    Not good enough. New manager insists I must delete all data and all backups before I remove the drives.

    Cue malicious compliance.

    That's what I do. Six months later, I get a series of desperate phone calls.

    New software grad has been unable to build any new prototypes. Old customers are calling to get old prototypes updated, and new software grad has no idea how to do that. Executive VP is calling to ask what would it take to bring me back to do my old job.

    Sorry, I've got a new job now. And even if I didn't, I cannot just modify the old prototype because you insisted I delete all old copies of it. If I did want to modify it, I'd first have to re-create it from scratch. The code still exists in their source control, but the data is the heart of the prototypes. And that old series of six month's apart data we collected is gone for good, no matter what.

    Sorry, you screwed yourselves exactly like I told you would happen. Hope whatever you saved by hiring a new grad to replace an actual experienced programmer was worth it.

     

    TL;DR: I was fired from a job building software prototypes. Over the years, I'd collected about 10 hard drives full of data from old projects. When I was fired, I was told to delete all of these. I tried to sell the hard drives back to the company in case they needed the data in the future but they denied saying I needed to delete everything from all of them before leaving. So, I did and six months later, they needed the data. Too bad it's been deleted. 

    5,470 votes
  • 2
    4,635 VOTES

    Don’t Want A Woman Working On Your Car? Have Fun Waiting

    From Redditor u/unlimitedpatience:

    Many years ago, I worked at a car dealership. The attached service garage was small and I was the only licensed mechanic.

    I would occasionally have issues with male customers— they would second guess my diagnoses, watch me while I worked on their cars from the bay door, double check my work in the parking lot, etc.

    I didn’t deal with customers directly and would often get my apprentice to pull cars in and out of the shop for me.

    This morning in particular, we were busy. The lot jockey and apprentice were occupied helping wash cars for delivery and driving to a customer’s house.

    The service advisor left a work order and keys at the parts counter, and I went out the front through service to get the car. It was in for a service campaign, which was an update done with a scan tool. It takes about 10 minutes.

    The customer was planning on waiting and was sitting in service. When he saw me with his keys in my hand, he immediately stood up, alarmed. I was hustling so I walked right by him and out the door. I missed the following conversation, according to the service advisor (also female):

    Customer: “Who is that chick? Is she going to be working on my car? I don’t want her working on my car.”

    Advisor: “The other tech is out at the moment, so it’s going to be quite a wait until someone else can look at your car.”

    C: “That’s fine. I’ll wait for a guy. I don’t want that chick touching my car.”

    A, politely: “Understood.”

    Cue malicious compliance.

    The advisor comes to let me know, and I pull the car out and put the work order and keys back on the counter.

    Half an hour passes. The apprentice is still away, and I am happily working on something else, bringing other cars in and out.

    The customer is now watching each and every person who comes through the door.

    The high school co-op student comes in to get something signed. The customer’s keys are still sitting on the desk. It’s been about an hour now.

    C: “Hey— why hasn’t my car gone in yet? Can’t you get this guy to do it?”

    A: “No, sorry. He’s just a co-op student so he is not allowed to drive the cars due to liability and insurance concerns.”

    C: “Just get someone else to bring the car in and he can do the work. This was supposed to take 10 minutes.”

    A: “Sorry, sir. He’s just a high school student doing his co-op; he’s not approved to perform warranty work. Only licensed techs and apprentices can do the recall.”

    The car jockey returns. The advisor hands the car jockey a different set of keys, and he brings yet another car into the shop for me. The customer is becoming incensed.

    C: “I’ve been sitting here for over an hour and I’ve watched 5 cars go in before mine. My appointment was for 8am, this is getting ridiculous,” blah blah blah.

    At this point he says that he literally doesn’t care who does the recall, but that it has to be a guy.

    The service advisor starts listing off the names of the men who work in the dealership, then saying why they can’t perform the recall.

    “Well there’s Harmon, but he’s just the car jockey. He doesn’t know how to work on cars. Then there’s Jeet, but he’s about 17. I wouldn’t want him doing the recall, personally. I guess we could ask Mike— but Mike is the parts guy— he doesn’t know how to use the scan tool. The detailers are men, but they know NOTHING about cars… ”

    The customer is fuming at this point, and demands to talk to the service manager.

    The manager comes out of his office, and guides the customer into the garage. He’s pretty old school… lights up a cigarette standing at the end of my bay, and points at me.

    “That’s my best technician. Those guys take orders from her. You can either wait for her to finish what she’s working on, and then you can ask if she’s still willing to do your work, or you can take your car somewhere else.”

    The guy was pretty shook up at this point and he took his car and left, two hours after he’d first arrived. I don’t think we ever saw him again, which was not much of a loss, all things considered.

    That manager in particular ALWAYS stuck up for me and took my side. The service advisor has this very dead-pan sense of humour. She knew full well it would easily be an hour before the apprentice would return from his errand, and that no one else could do the recall.

     

    TL;DR: A customer brought his car in to the shop but when he saw me with his keys asked for a man to do the job instead. The service advisor happily agreed knowing full well there was no one but me to do the job. The customer ended up waiting two hours before leaving without getting his car fixed.  

    4,635 votes
  • 3
    6,351 VOTES

    Won't Let Me Go To Jury Duty? Enjoy Being Questioned In Court

    From Redditor u/ProgressiveBadger:

    This was back in the '80s, my first job, working as a maintenance man at a local hotel. I'd been working there part-time since I was 16 and when I turned 18, I got a notice to attend jury duty. I picked a week and I let my boss know.

    The owner of the hotel found out and sees me in the hallway and tells me that I need to do "whatever it takes" to get out of jury duty because he needs me at the hotel that week for a large dog show, and if I'm not at work, I'm fired.

    When I get to jury duty, day 1, I get selected for a week-long trial, and the judge asks jurors if there's any reason we cannot serve on the jury. They go around... When they get to me, I'm nervous, never been in court before and too scared to lie.

    Cue malicious compliance.

    I tell the judge that the owner of the business I work at will fire me if I'm not back today and said I needed to do everything I can to get out of jury duty or I'm fired, other than that I'm fine serving. The judge looks p*ssed.

    The judge has me approach the bench, asks for the name of the owner, location, etc. Then he hands the court officer a paper and says something to the officer. I'm told to return to the jury box. About an hour later (still selecting a jury), the officer returns with the owner, visibly shaken, in handcuffs and walked to the front of the judge's bench.

    The owner is standing in front of the judge. The judge asks him questions which he apologetically tries to worm out of.

    Then the judge instructs him that I will be here for jury duty, I will serve as long as I need to, and he should NOT do anything to retaliate against me -- and that the judge is filing charges and will be instructing the clerk to check with me regularly and if, for any reason, I am fired or face any disciplinary action at work - he will hold the owner in contempt, violation of a court order,  and a bunch more legal stuff. He will spend time in jail thinking about how important jury duty is.

    Then the judge makes him apologize to me, in court!

    I made it onto the jury and I served the week. I reported back to work the following week. I expected some blowback, but I never got fired, none of my shifts were changed and I got paid for my time in jury - I didn't ask why I got paid.

    The clerk did check back a few times and I was told to call the judge's clerk's direct phone number if anything happened. It was awesome, I was pretty much bullet-proof and worked until I saved enough to go back to school.

     

    TL;DR: When I got my first notice for jury duty, my boss told me to get out of it or I'd be fired. Being the scared 18-year old that I was, when the judge asked if any of us couldn't serve, I told him what my boss had said. The judge had my boss dragged into court and threatened with jail time. I ended up serving on the jury and getting paid for the days I missed at work. 

    6,351 votes
  • 4
    3,915 VOTES

    Send Three Years Worth Of Documents? Right Away!

    From Redditor u/FederalAnt9:

    This happened several years ago when my ex and I were going through a heated divorce. While we were married, we had a couple of conversations about how rich people hide their assets to avoid paying taxes.

    I've never had enough assets to do this, but she somehow got the idea that I was and told her attorney that I was laundering money and hiding income. It was more likely the heat of the moment as divorces often come down to. I couldn't even afford my own attorney so I represented myself.

    Her lawyer wasn't a total a*s, but he clearly was out to get me, and he talked down to me like I didn't deserve to breathe the same air. One day, I get a letter in the mail from him requesting an updated income declarations form and 3 years of financials. It had a long a*s list of things to include.

    I own a communications tech company that was in super startup phase back then. Money was already tight. I was trying to get this business off the ground with no financing, I was finishing my MBA with scholarships and loans, so paying for copies and postage or driving this 30 miles to his office meant eating peanut butter and saltines for a week. So I called him to explain my situation. He all but called me a liar and didn't believe I couldn't afford it.

    I was put off by that, and I said this was taking time away from business I needed to handle. To which he replied (and I'll never forget this), "Well, according to your income declarations, you're not that busy. What do you do all day?" He then said if he didn't get these documents, he would consider my previous filings as fake tell the judge, contact the DA, and also alert the state tax agency and IRS. Probably an empty threat, but I'm no lawyer.

    Efax is one of the services my company provides, and at this time it was relatively unknown. So I asked him if he has a fax machine. He said he had a fax/scanner/copier device, then said what law office doesn't have a fax machine? And I suddenly got an idea.

    Cue malicious compliance. 

    Okay, I said to him, I'll put together and fax whatever I can. You want 3 years of financials? You got it.

    I scanned-to-PDF every receipt I could find. McDonald's receipt from 5 years ago? F*ck it, won't hurt to include it. CVS receipt? It's 3 miles long, perfect. They get the $1 off toothpaste coupons too.

    I downloaded every bank statement, credit card statement, purchase orders from vendors, and every invoice I sent to clients. I printed to PDF the entire 3 year accounting journal, monthly/quarterly/annual balance sheets, cash flow statements, P & L's. Not only did I PDF 3 years of tax filings, but every single letter I received from the IRS and state tax agency, including the inserts advising me of my rights. It took awhile, but I was a few days ahead of the deadline!

    I made a cover page black background with white lettering. Wherever I could, I included separator pages in all caps in the biggest, boldest font that would fit on the page in landscape: 20XX RECEIPTS, 20XX TAXES, etc.

    I merged everything into a single 150+ page compressed PDF and sent the document using my Efax system. Every hour or so, I received a status email saying the fax failed. Huh, that's weird. Well, they're getting this document. So I changed the system configuration to unlimited retries after failures to keep redialing until it went through. Weird, I was still getting status email failures. I'll delete the failure emails and keep the success one after it eventually goes through, I thought. Problem solved.

    Two days later, a lady from his office called and asked me to stop sending the fax. Their fax/scanner/printer/copier had been printing non-stop. It kept getting paper jams, kept running out of ink and they had to keep shutting it off and back on to print.

    I explained that her boss told me to send this by the deadline or else he would call the DA and IRS. Since I didn't want a call from the DA or the IRS, I would keep sending until I get a success confirmation. I suggested they just not print until my fax completes, but she didn't like that.

    She asked me to email the documents, and I told a little white lie that my email wouldn't allow an attachment that big. Unless her boss in writing agreed to cancel the request or agree to reimburse me for my costs to print and ship, I said I would continue to fax until they confirm they have received every page.

    She put me on hold, and the attorney gets on the line. He said forget sending the financials. I said that I would need this in writing, so I will keep sending the fax until he sent that to me. He asked me to stop faxing and he would send it in writing, and I said send it in writing first and then I'll stop.

    Long moment of silence... click.

    About 20 minutes later, I received an email from his assistant with an attached, signed letter in PDF that I no longer needed to provide financials. The letter then threatened to pursue sanctions in court or sue me for interfering with their business. Every time I saw him after that, the lawyer never brought up financials again.

     

    TL;DR: My ex accused me of hiding income and money laundering, so her divorce lawyer demanded 3 years of financials. I spam faxed them with my company's Efax service until they told me to stop. 

    3,915 votes
  • 5
    3,126 VOTES

    Military Wife Demands Salute? Not Today Or Ever!

    From Redditor u/CitizenAlpha:

    There are a handful of rules to saluting in the American military. The when, why, and how is drilled into you from boot camp until the day you leave. Even the order in which the salutes are rendered have meaning. When it comes to vehicles there are helpful insignia and stickers to indicate if its an officer such as a colored sticker located on the front windshield.

    My base was small enough where it was everyone's job at some point to do sentry duty at the front gate which had housing for military families. Sentry duty was pretty basic, you'd stop every vehicle, check IDs and then wave them through. If they were an officer you'd see it coming with those colored stickers and after verifying the identity of the officer, you'd salute and send them on their way.

    One day while on duty I approached a vehicle with an officer's sticker and there was only the officer's wife driving in the vehicle. I returned her ID, wished her a nice day and waved her through. Pausing with a stern look, "Where's my salute?"

    Now, Karen here was wife to a higher ranking officer and has clearly has fallen under the impression people are saluting her somewhere along the way. Some of the junior enlisted might've even been saluting her as they're more prone to f*ck ups.

    I politely replied, "Ma'am salutes are only rendered to commissioned officers." Angrily pointing her fingers at the front of her windshield towards her husband's officer sticker, "I have a sticker and you need to salute the sticker." Curtly I continued, "I'm afraid that sticker is not an officer either."

    Frustrated she pulled through and left my post. My cover guy and I watched her drive down the street and pull right into the administrative building with the top brass and huffed into the building as quickly as her body would take her. We exchange a look between us with wry smiles knowing exactly where this is probably going.

    Later that day, we get a new official base-wide mandate. From here forward all enlisted will salute vehicle stickers of officers regardless of who's in the vehicle. Rodger that.

    Cue malicious compliance.

    It's worth noting that when you salute an officer as enlisted, you do it first, and you hold that salute until you are saluted in return and they lower theirs. Only then do you lower your salute. It signals that you're saluting them, and they're replying.

    Additionally, when saluting a group of officers, you generally direct your salute and greeting to the highest-ranking individual. Now as far as I know this stupid sticker salute order has no accommodation for how a 2004 Toyota Camry fits into the officers pecking order. Additionally if the car is unoccupied, it's not like that sticker is removed.

    After that order came through we all began saluting stickers. Personally, I'd direct my salute to the sticker. I would also prioritize sticker salutes over officers. Let me tell you, walking through parking lots was a blast as I saluted empty cars on my way to where ever. More and more people saw me doing it, and more and more people started doing it.

    Not long after the order was publicly rescinded, which hilariously had the balancing effect of never rendering a salute to anyone but a clearly known officer cementing Karen never getting her unearned salutes.

     

    TL;DR: Civilian wife demanded to be saluted because her husband was an officer, used her clout to get a rule enlisted ordering us to salute vehicle stickers. We all followed orders and saluted vehicle stickers, prioritized them over officers, and even empty vehicles in parking lots until the rule was rescinded, ensuring the civilian wife never got her salutes.

    3,126 votes
  • 6
    3,133 VOTES

    Key Card Is Broken? Let Me Fix It

    From Redditor u/ImThe1Wh0:

    I'm the facility manager for my building. Everything that happens and goes wrong, is my responsibility. So I make sure everything runs smoothly.

    My boss had made it clear: It's MY building and I was hired to not only keep people in line but run everything. I'm not a d*ck but I hold people accountable, forcibly but politely. There was no facility manager for a long time before I came along and both clients and employees ran amok, with no order.

    In the 4 months I've been here, my boss has praised my performance and has gone to bat for me countless times, she's the best boss I've ever had. I've got a firm but fair approach and my reputation reflects that.

    I've got a Karen in the building and trust me, the name stereotype applies, who's just a counselor for family services, has nothing to do with our group. She likes to complain about everything and gives my boss a headache almost daily. She shares an office with another women, who's unfortunately, picking up on her Karen tendencies (Karen In Training).

    I've been doing a keycard audit all week and I knew to leave Karen's keycard alone because she's the only Karen in the building, so her name stands out. I am missing 75 keycards, lots of former employees having all door access, dating all the way back to 2015. Can't have that so I deleted a lot of them, especially if it had a wacky name or just a room number. However, I did delete "Karen In Training's" card information because it wasn't under her name.

    She just came to tell me her keycard wasn't working and Karen happened to be passing by and overheard it. I went and fixed "KIT's" keycard and we went to go check to see if it worked or not. We found Karen outside the office waiting, complaining to my boss that her keycard didn't work either. Karen wandered away and my boss rolled her eyes and I smiled and I told her I would take care of it.

    Cue malicious compliance.

    After checking to make sure "KIT's" keycard worked, I went downstairs to check the system, looked up Karen and wouldn't you know it, her keycard was completely fine. In fact, it showed she had a MASTER keycard. So I changed all of her permissions and limited her back to just her room ONLY.

    I went upstairs and got my boss's attention because her office is next door to the ladies and I mouthed LISTEN and pointed.

    I opened their door and was all, "Hey Karen! I went and checked your keycard in the system. Everything is good to go. In fact, it said you had a MASTER key to the building and per the company orders, since you're not a contractor or a company employee, I can't give you that access. So I had to revoke your status to just this room ONLY. Can't have you bugging people on official business! Thanks for bringing your keycard to my attention."

    She started to object that she needed the master keycard because XYZ and I was all, "Yeah sorry. Maybe before but I'm the facility manager and you don't need access to everything except this office and if you do, it's outside your pay grade, so you'll have to come get me. Ok? Cool thanks byyeeeeeee..." And then just closed the door on her mid sentence.

    My boss was quietly laughing in her office and gave me an air high five.

     

    TL;DR: Karen complained her keycard didn't work when it absolutely did. In fact, she had master key access and had she not said anything, would still have it but made me check and I revoked her status completely to just her room only.

    3,133 votes