There is a whole subreddit dedicated to chronicling all the times people use "malicious compliance"; in other words, of people "conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of the request." Vote up the best stories below!
She Wanted Them To Get Whatever They Wanted
From Redditor u/Cuboid-Homonym
This happened to me about two years ago but a former coworker just reminded me about it and I'm pretty sure it counts as MC. I'll try and keep it short but it is a little long.
I used to be a service manager at one of the biggest locations of a popular Mexican grill. I won't say which but guac was $1.95 extra and we were required to ask everyone if they were okay paying that price. One Sunday morning (our second busiest shift of the week) two of my line people called out so we were struggling to get all of our prep done before opening at 11.
We are just wrapping up when in comes Karen 10 minutes before opening through the side door marked EMPLOYEES ONLY with 15 preteen girls in tow. My cook recognizes her as she regularly comes in during the dinner shift and is extremely cruel to all the Latino workers. Karen tells me they can order whatever they want, THROWS her credit card at me and goes to sit down at a table and diddle on her phone. Now I can't ring up her order without her standing there because of the company rules and I am 30 weeks pregnant and just want to take my break. I prego waddled over to Karen's table to try and inform her of that when she literally flicks her hand at me to dismiss me. Not only have I been at the store since 7 and done two different people's jobs on top of my own, I have my son's head grinding against my pelvic bones and kicking me. I am in no mood.
When I try to tell her again, she looks at me with what I can only describe as seething contempt and says "What part of they can get whatever they want did you not understand? I don't care what you charge me as long as I get a receipt. Don't interrupt me again or I'll get your fat a** fired." Now I never cry but that almost got me. Motherhood is awesome but pregnancy suuucks. I finally manage to pick my jaw off the ground and stammer "alright, ma'am, I'll ring up whatever they want and bring you a receipt."
The girls were really nice and most of them ordered double meat and they all got a bottled water and chips and guac. Every. Last. One. My cashier and I are just vibrating with glee as we ring them up and watch the bill climb to like $250. I brought the bill to Karen and was pretty excited when she didn't immediately check it. I made my own food and told the cook to come get me when the show starts.
I'm halfway done eating when I see him waving to the camera, howling with laughter so I head up. Karen is foaming at the mouth SCREAMING for the manager and when she sees that that manager is me, she literally grinds her teeth and slaps her receipt on the table. She manages to choke out the word "refund." The girls have all pretty much finished their food so I inform her that I won't be doing that because I would lose my job for giving away that much critical inventory (meat, guac, cheese) for free. Then I gently remind her that she told me twice that the could get anything as long as she got a receipt. She just keeps demanding a refund and calling me stupid and fat (again, pregnant). At this point, her screaming is holding up the very long line and customers are shouting at her to just leave. That's when she pushed me. F*cking hard.
My cashier caught me so I didn't fall down but two of our regulars, who are police, see it and immediately cuff her. In this state, any use of physical force against a pregnant woman is classified as aggravated battery or something like that. I felt bad for the kids and I was fine so I kept telling them I didn't want to press charges but they said that at that point it didn't matter because the woman had done it in front of on duty officers so she getting detained. They had to call the kids parents to come get them because she was their CHURCH'S YOUTH LEADER and get statements. My GM came in and let me go home with a full day's pay. She tried to take the case to trial but they had video and like twenty witness statement so she ended up taking a couple years probation or something. All because I did exactly what she told me to.Satisfying?
Wanted An Exact Pound Of Wings
From Redditor u/advocatus_ebrius_est
I worked as a cook at a chain restaurant that had a 'wing night' where you could get a pound of wings at a discounted price.
We didn't actually weigh the wings, our specs said eight wings to a pound. Four drums and four flats.
One night a table comes in and everyone orders a pound of wings. A little while after the wings go out, the server comes back a little flustered and explains there has been a complaint.
Apparently, one of the guys at the table complained that it was 'obvious' that he didn't get a pound, because it would be a huge coincidence if everyone's pounds led to the same number of wings on each plate. He insisted that the server go and weigh these (already discounted) wings to make sure he was "getting what he paid for".
So we weighted it. Sure enough it was not a pound. It was a pound and a half. We tell the server to bring it out and tell him he's getting more than a pound. She says "f*** no. He paid for a pound, he's going to "get what he paid for"" and threw two of his wings in the garbage and re-weighted the food. Still over. Throws another one out. Bang on 1 pound of wings.
So she brings back out his 5 wings and calmly tells the gentleman "here are your wings sir. You were right, there was more than a pound there. So we threw the other ones out. Good catch".
When they ordered a second round, he didn't complain that everyone got 8 wings to a "pound".Satisfying?
Wait Your Turn
From Redditor u/ArmyMPSides
When I was a senior back in high school in Middle Tennessee, we had a smoking area for the students. This was 1990, so yeah, I'm old. My daughters actually just asked me to post this story here.
Anyway, so I was a good student and had a great reputation among the faculty at this school of about 2000 students.
During class, I am running an errand for a teacher when I walk by the smoking area. It is outside of course, but it is against one of the buildings and has a roof over it like a carport. There is a large metal trash can in the middle. And it is on FIRE. Not a rip-roaring fire, but is on fire nonetheless. We have flames starting to work there way out of there and plenty of smoke.
I decide I don't need to pull a fire alarm, but clearly I need to get a staff member to put this fire out. There's no one around, so I make a fast trot up to the Main Office. As I quickly enter, I see the Secretary talking to another student, so with a loud voice I say, "Ms. Knight Ms. Knight there's a..."
And that's when the Assistant Principal rounds the corner behind Ms. Knight while ripping into me about how we wait our turn in here and how I am being disrespectful and loud and I need to stand there and wait until I am called forward.
"Okay" And then I just stood there while Ms. Knight kept helping the other student as Mr. Evil Assistant Principal stood overwatch in the corner like a bouncer.
Finally after a few minutes, it was my turn. I calmly walked up to the counter and said, "Ms. Knight, the large trash can in the smoking area is on fire".
The Asst. Principal yells out "WHAT?!?" and then burst out of the room while Ms. Knight just gasped. I calmly turned around and walked out, and went back to class.Satisfying?
Needs To Get A Recommendation From The Local Chapter President
From Redditor u/yellowjacket81
My brother has struggled with a drug dependence for most of his life. About five years ago, it tore his family apart. His wife filed for divorce, and was awarded full custody of their son. This is all right and proper, as brother was in no condition to be a father at this time.
The road to recovery has been long, but my brother has been working the program and has now been clean for several years. He has no formal custody of his son, though he gets visitation at his ex-wife's discretion. He's been a good and stable father to his son in the last years. However, his ex has not wanted to allow for the possibility that brother has become well. In fact, she has begun jerking him around with visitation, even planning on removing son from his father for a period of several months so she can take a long vacation with her new family.
Brother, not willing to let this slide, immediately filed for joint custody. The court case was just a day ago, and as expected, his ex has badmouthed his former drug use and attempted to paint him as still a user and a threat to their son (again, he totally is not - him being clean for years, employed, and owning his own home now). The ex was so self-deluded and confident that he had backslid, that she loudly demanded, in front of the judge, that my brother provide a letter from the local president of [drug counseling program] stating that he has attended every meeting for the last several years.
My brother smiled at the judge, and said, "Not only is that not a problem, your honor, but I can provide that document today." The judge asked how this is possible, did brother already think to bring it with him? "No, your honor, but, you see, I am the president of our local chapter."
I wish I could see the look on that hateful b*tch's face. It's not official yet, but yeah, he's totally getting joint custody.Satisfying?