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What Your Favorite 'Mario Kart' Character Says About You

Updated September 24, 2019 89.6k views14 items

The Mario Kart games are one of those series that defines you as a person. Your choices - like when to use the notorious blue shell - can lead you to victory and destroy friendships. But the most important decision in any iteration of Mario Kart is your character.

Those who claim to play all the characters equally are liars. Everyone has a favorite driver, and your preferred Mario Kart character can give even strangers an intimate look into your psyche. Starting to date someone new? Forget asking where they grew up - their Mario Kart avatar can help you decide whether or not they're the one. Trying to get a handle on your new boss? Casually ask who they choose to put behind the digital wheel.

  • Photo: Nintendo

    People talk about how sweet or adorable you are, but for once you'd like it if someone took your ideas seriously. Your plan to launch a dating site that matches people based on their favorite cookie is foolproof! You may come off as sweet and innocent like your ideas, but in reality, there is a constant, quiet rage brewing inside you.

    If anyone brings up that embarrassing thing you did 10 years ago one more time, you'll snap - or continue smiling and thinking about the day you finally exact revenge.

  • Photo: Nintendo

    Who hurt you? You always act like you have something to prove, whether it's how cool you are or how you were the one who taught David Blaine the "catch a bullet in your mouth" trick. People often smile and nod as you rant - not because they're interested, but because they're afraid you'll add them to your hit list if they don't.

    You've definitely tried to summon a demon in the past, and sometimes you even convince yourself it worked.

  • Photo: Nintendo

    How are you so positive all the time? You have 10 Pinterest boards dedicated to different types of positive affirmations, and no one is judging you for it. You have a lust for life that people aspire toward, and you strive to see the best in others.

    If something - or someone - gets you down, though, it's ugly. Like don't-shower-for-days ugly. Fortunately, you have a lot of friends to see you through these rare but perturbing times.

  • Photo: Nintendo

    You're a hypermasculine type, a troll, or a not-so-fun combination of the two. You post photos of your daily protein shakes and are constantly on the lookout for your swole-mate. There are tenderness and vulnerability underneath that tough shell, but few people get to see that side of you.

    Or you're the parent playing this game with your kids. You always gotta remind them who's in charge.