The Best Marriage Jokes
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people. However, no marriage would last if both spouses were unable to laugh with one another. There is a lot of humor to be found in long-term relationships, and if you have been with your significant other for a while, then there's a good chance you've heard at least one of these jokes in the past. This list has gathered together some of the best marriage jokes of all time, so see which ones hit a little too close to home for you and your partner!
For these jokes, things will be kept (mostly) positive. You won't find any ball-and-chain jokes here! After all, you wouldn't marry the love of your life if it felt like the spiritual equivalent of having a ball and chain you had to lug around. Marriage is a happy time, and with these jokes, you can make things even happier.
Whether you have been happily married for years or are still single, you're encouraged to vote for your favorite marriage puns and jokes here. If you're having a tough time knowing what to vote up, then read these to your partner. The two of you will soon be laughing on the couch or in bed together!
- 1
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings saying, "You're next..."
They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
- 2
If love is grand, then what is a divorce?
About 100 grand.
- 3
My spouse said, "I think it's time we heard the pitter-patter of little feet again..."
So I bought a rat.
- 4
Why should you never laugh at your spouse's choices?
Because you're one of them!
- 5
Spouses are like grenades...
Remove the ring and BOOM! The house is gone.
- 6
Why are husbands like parking spaces?
The good ones are always taken.
