When you’re “The One,” there are a few things you can expect - having to fight a thousand secret agents at once, getting offed and immediately resurrected, and being told you're not actually the savior. What you probably won’t expect are all the boring monologues you’ll have to sit through. Across The Matrix trilogy, there is a staggering amount of characters who stop the action completely to give Neo a philosophy 101 lecture - it’s shocking that The One doesn’t fall asleep in the middle of any of these boring speeches.
The Architect is perhaps one of the most egregious offenders: In The Matrix Reloaded, Neo is literally running towards the climax of the film when he suddenly finds himself in a room with a man who rambles to no end. While his speech is necessary to the plot and themes of the series, it's hardly as thrilling as watching Neo save Trinity as she falls backwards out of a building while firing twin .45s at an agent. Here we'll analyze how the savior of the Matrix manages to stay awake throughout lengthy conversations about such riveting topics as causality, destiny, and faith.
- Photo: The Matrix / Warner Bros.1
Morpheus Explains A Sparring Program To Neo
What's Being Interrupted: Neo has just spent 10 hours learning martial arts with Tank, who tells Morpheus that Neo is “a machine.” Before Neo and Morpheus can spar in a digital kung-fu match, however, Morpheus grinds everything to a halt.
What They're Rambling About: Morpheus takes a few minutes of everyone’s time to explain the concept of a sparring program, which is - shockingly - a program that lets people practice sparring.
How Neo Is Able To Stay Awake: After 10 hours of martial arts practice, Neo should be exhausted. However, his head is probably aching from being jacked in, and he has to be nervous about getting his face punched in by his boss.Is this nap-worthy?
- Photo: The Matrix Relaoded / Warner Bros.2
He Chooses To Listen To The Architect Rambling About Not Having Free Will
What's Being Interrupted: Neo is on a mad dash to save Trinity from being shot by agents as she falls out of a window. This moment has haunted his dreams, and yet the Architect chooses this very moment to derail him with a lengthy conversation.
What They're Rambling About: The Architect reveals that Neo has experienced the Matrix several times before with only slight variations, and everything the hero does is preordained as part of his programming. Neo has to choose a few people to help restart the human race and the Matrix all over again.
How Neo Is Able To Stay Awake: Luckily, Neo has a few things to keep his focus so he doesn't start counting sheep. First, there’s a bank of television sets surrounding him that are playing his past lives. Second, he's probably worried about his girlfriend falling to her demise.Is this nap-worthy?
- Photo: The Matrix / Warner Bros.3
He Sits Patiently After A Long Day While Morpheus Talks About About Pills
What's Being Interrupted: After a hectic day, Neo is awoken by Trinity and Switch, who rip a bug out of his stomach with a piece of steampunk operating tech. He is then brought to a musty room in a Victorian house, where Morpheus greets him with a long and unforgiving monologue.
What They're Rambling About: The Matrix. Morpheus speaks at length about a mysterious web in the air around him, and then he starts talking about red and blue pills (one of which is hopefully a NoDoz caffeine supplement).
How Neo Is Able To Stay Awake: There's a dulcet tone to Morpheus's voice, so it's genuinely shocking that Neo doesn't start snoozing in his chair. The one thing keeping him awake is Morpheus's promise to share some information that Neo has been waiting years to hear.Is this nap-worthy?
- Photo: The Matrix Reloaded / Warner Bros.4
Smith Follows Up The Oracle's Philosophical Blathering With His Own Verbosity
What's Being Interrupted: Neo just emerged from a boring, one-sided conversation with the Oracle, and he’s raging on her bits of red candy when he's approached by Agent Smith.
What They're Rambling About: Most of Agent Smith's speech is philosophical drivel about either understanding the rules of the Matrix or not obeying them. The speech basically serves as Smith's "we're not so different, you and I" moment. All he needs to say is, “I’m not working for the Matrix anymore, I’ve gone rogue,” but instead, he babbles on about purpose and how he’s finally found it thanks to the time he offed Neo.
How Neo Is Able To Stay Awake: In the middle of Smith's speech, Neo dons a pair of sunglasses, so he may have caught a couple of Zs. If so, he is definitely awoken when a horde of Smith clones start popping up to help with the agent's monologue.Is this nap-worthy?