The Meanest Things People Have Ever Said About Donald Trump's Hair

List Rules
Vote up the burns hot enough to singe that hair clean off.

There is no shortage of fodder when it comes to criticizing the 45; his Twitter feed alone invokes think pieces and mental health assessments on a nearly daily basis. Despite all of the chaos surrounding the Trump Administration, many people have very important thoughts on one aspect in particular: the Donald's hair. The president may think he reigns as the very stable genius of social media, but a few other internet wordsmiths have proved their worth with some of the best burns about Trump's hair.

Sure, a list of Donald Trump hair insults might seem trivial, especially when compared to all the other things he's done and said since taking office. But his hair is just so puzzling that it cannot be ignored. Is it his real hair? Is it a dye job? Did his hair look like that even as a kid? That answer could be yes, considering all the other very strange things about Donald Trump's childhood. Plugs or the real deal, Trump's hair has acted as a muse for some rather poetic takedowns.

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  • A Hue Best Described As 'Cigarette-Stained-Teeth-Blond'
    1

    A Hue Best Described As 'Cigarette-Stained-Teeth-Blond'

    227 votes

    Unknown, quoted in The Washington Post

  • He’s Worked Out How To Cover 90 Per Cent Of His Skull With 30 Per Cent Of His Hair.
    2

    He’s Worked Out How To Cover 90 Per Cent Of His Skull With 30 Per Cent Of His Hair.

    187 votes

    Late author Christopher Hitchens, from an essay in The London Review of Books

  • An Abandoned Nest
    3

    An Abandoned Nest

    150 votes

    Author Matt Labash to AdWeek

  • A Shriveled Tangerine Covered In Golden Retriever Hair Filled With Bile That I Would Not Leave Alone With The Woman I Love
    4

    A Shriveled Tangerine Covered In Golden Retriever Hair Filled With Bile That I Would Not Leave Alone With The Woman I Love

    170 votes

    Stephen Colbert during his exit interview with President Barack Obama

  • It Appears To Be A Comb-Over, But, In­cred­ibly, It Doesn’t Arrive From Any Direction. You Cannot Stare At The Donald’s Hair Very Long. It’s Like Staring Into The Sun.
    5

    It Appears To Be A Comb-Over, But, In­cred­ibly, It Doesn’t Arrive From Any Direction. You Cannot Stare At The Donald’s Hair Very Long. It’s Like Staring Into The Sun.

    129 votes

    Unknown, quoted in The Washington Post

  • A Pair Of Chapped Lips Superglued To A Hairball
    6

    A Pair Of Chapped Lips Superglued To A Hairball

    138 votes

    Ellie Schechet, staff writer, Jezebel