Mom Jokes Even A Mother Could Love

List Rules
Vote up the jokes about moms and motherhood that are the funniest.

Moms do so much for us. It's only fair that we pay appreciation in the only way we know how: by providing you with a length list consisting of the best mom jokes of all time!

Before you go any further, you should know that you won't find any "Yo momma" jokes on this list. For one: it's no longer 2006. For another thing: this list opts for more variety among its joke structure. They're the perfect way to show your mom she raised a stand-up comedian. The next time you're over at her house, you can regale her with these jokes and puns, letting her know how much she means to you.

Sure, everyone is a fan of dad jokes. But mom jokes are just as good. They often deal with how mothers have so much to do. They work, clean the house, cook, and take care of kids. They're practically superhuman, and they definitely have a sense of humor about the roles they play in our lives.

Some of the best mom humor ever is on display right here. After going through the list, vote for the jokes that made you laugh the hardest. Whether or not you're a mom yourself, everyone can get a kick out of these bits.


  • A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
    1

    A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

    He said, "Call for backup."

  • What do breastfeeding moms and stand-up comedians have in common?
    2

    What do breastfeeding moms and stand-up comedians have in common?

    They'll both whip out their bits pretty much anywhere.

  • "Mom, stop. You never make jokes."
    3

    "Mom, stop. You never make jokes."

    "I made you."

  • How do you define "mother?"
    4

    How do you define "mother?"

    One person who does the work of 20 for free.

  • Why did mom chop the joke book in half?
    5

    Why did mom chop the joke book in half?

    Mom said to cut the comedy.

  • Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day?
    6

    Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day?

    So that the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.

  • What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet?
    7

    What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet?

    We're going to have a BB!

  • What did the digital clock say to its mother?
    8

    What did the digital clock say to its mother?

    “Look, Ma! No hands!”

  • What's the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
    9

    What's the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?

    You don't know? Then it's a good thing mom does the shopping!

  • What did the mother rope say to her child?
    10

    What did the mother rope say to her child?

    "Don't be knotty."

  • How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
    11

    How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?

    It was way past its threadtime!

  • How many moms does it take to change a lightbulb?
    12

    How many moms does it take to change a lightbulb?

    "Why do I have to do everything around here? Change your own darn lightbulb!"

  • Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
    13

    Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?

    Their kids have to play inside!

  • What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
    14

    What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

    "Time to go to sweep."

  • Why are computers so smart?
    15

    Why are computers so smart?

    They listen to their motherboards.

  • "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?"
    16

    "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?"

    "I don't know. You'll have to ask your grandmother."

  • What's the quickest way to spread a rumor?
    17

    What's the quickest way to spread a rumor?

    Tell your mom.

  • What kind of mother forgets how old her kids are, can't remember the exact dates of their birthdays, and loves sending the kids away to sleepaway camp?
    18

    What kind of mother forgets how old her kids are, can't remember the exact dates of their birthdays, and loves sending the kids away to sleepaway camp?

    My mother!

  • What is a sweater?
    19

    What is a sweater?

    Something you wear when your mother gets cold.

  • Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
    20

    Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?

    He grew another foot!

  • Why did the mother cross the road?
    21

    Why did the mother cross the road?

    To get some peace and quiet!

  • What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day?
    22

    What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day?

    Mums.

  • Do you say prayers before eating?
    23

    Do you say prayers before eating?

    No, my mom's a good cook.

  • What is a minimum?
    24

    What is a minimum?

    A tiny mother.

  • What color flowers do mama cats like to get on Mother’s Day?
    25

    What color flowers do mama cats like to get on Mother’s Day?

    Purr-ple flowers.