Morticians have one of the eeriest jobs ever. They interact with corpses on a debatably intimate level that many of us could hardly fathom. Some might find a sort of beauty in their work; they eternalize an individual's last earthly moments before burial. Certain people have even captured peaceful portraits of corpses in the morgue, proving that when viewed through a very specific lens, death can be beautiful.
Reddit, being the trove of morbidity and abhorrent attractions that it usually is, has not chosen to display the mortician's work as chillingly beautiful, though. They've asked their undertakers, embalmers, and funeral directors to compile the worst cases they've ever worked on and the results (listed below for all those curious) are puzzling to to say the least. Some are inexplicable cases, some are quite sad, but all of them will make you be extra careful whether you're driving, running a bath, or using a bench vise for whatever purpose one uses a bench vise.
That Nursing Home Ought To Be Shut Down
From Reddit user PastelPastries:
"[There was] this guy on the autopsy table with his [behind] rotted off to the bone. Turns out he was a paraplegic in a nursing home. The nurses just neglected cleaning his [behind] for so long that it rotted off and he couldn't feel it... It wasn't discovered until he was on the table..."
Her Cause Of Death Was Hardly Magical Even Though A Gargoyle Was Involved
From Reddit user Back2Bach:
"The undertaker... had to prepare a woman for viewing at a wake who had been killed by a gargoyle falling from the tower of an old church and making a direct hit.
"Apparently, it did extensive damage - the kind that took him several days of reconstructive preparatory work."
This Case Proves That Vises Should Only Be Used By Professionals That Are Properly Attired
From Reddit user Ed98208:
"The weirdest and most puzzling [case] was a man in his late 60s who died of a pulmonary embolism as a result of crushing his own penis in a vise. I've tried to think of ways it could have happened accidentally (naked woodworking?) or what his thought process could possibly have been..."
Smoking May Have Worse Results Than You Ever Imagined
From Reddit user TooMuchPretzels:
"We once had a lady that came in looking like she had died in a war. Burn marks, lacerations, what I imagine it looks like if you get hit by a grenade or a mine...
"Apparently she had been discharged from the hospital earlier that day for a hip replacement. They had given her a bottle of oxygen and strict orders to not smoke.
"Well ole Mrs Joe Camel sits right down on her sofa on her porch at home, plops the oxygen tank down next to her, and [with] oxygen tubes still in her nose, lights up her very last cigarette..."