Total Nerd The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality  

Joesph Langdon
1.1k votes 223 voters 3.3k views 14 items

List Rules Vote up the weapons you definitely don't want in a fight.

Occasionally, the most absurd Final Fantasy weapons are wielded by some of the best characters. This is to be expected with such a big franchise. As Final Fantasy grows, it gets more and more intricate to entertain the devoted fan base. This attention to detail lead to some pretty wild fan theories about what's really going on between the lines. And some of the more unconventional characters were even censored for American audiences.

At a certain point everything about the game franchise is a little fantastical, and that includes those trademark, ridiculous Final Fantasy weapons. Yeah sure, those odd swords are cool in video games, but in real life they'd be more likely to harm the person wielding them than anyone else.

And boy, are there sure a lot of these impractical weapons.

1
114 21
World Champion From 'Final... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
World Champion From 'Final Fantasy X'

Wakka definitely cuts his hands to ribbons when he catches World Champion.

2
97 39
The Buster Sword From 'Fin... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Buster Sword From 'Final Fantasy VII'

Cloud may be a super soldier, but even he falls over after swinging the Buster Sword.

3
83 33
Pinwheel From 'Final Fanta... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
Pinwheel From 'Final Fantasy VII'

Pinwheel is a children's toy that pokes enemies in their eyes.

4
79 40
Sephiroth's Masamune From ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
Sephiroth's Masamune From 'Kingdom Hearts'

Sephiroth's Masamune should break in half under its own weight.

5
48 21
Fire Whip From 'Final Fant... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
Fire Whip From 'Final Fantasy Adventure'

Fire Whip is permanently on fire. What could go wrong there?

6
50 23
Reaper's Tarot Cards From ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
Reaper's Tarot Cards From 'Final Fantasy NT'

Nobody is safely shuffling Reaper's spiky tarot cards.

7
39 20
The Omega Weapon From 'Fin... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Omega Weapon From 'Final Fantasy NT'

Lightning's Omega Weapon looks nothing like a blade.

8
55 34
Masamune From 'Final Fanta... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
Masamune From 'Final Fantasy X'

There's no way Auron doesn't accidentally catch his hand on Masamune's pointy hilt.

9
69 51
The Gunblade From 'Final F... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Gunblade From 'Final Fantasy'

There is no way the Gunblade's vibration doesn't give Squall carpal tunnel.

10
33 24
The Sword Of Kings From 'F... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Sword Of Kings From 'Final Fantasy XII'

The Sword of Kings' decorative dip and hand guard block the actual blade from hitting an enemy.

11
32 27
The Rod Of Thorns From 'Fi... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Rod Of Thorns From 'Final Fantasy XIII'

Swinging around the Rod of Thorns is only fun until Vanille hooks one of her party members.

12
21 24
The Wave Shamshir Blade From &... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Wave Shamshir Blade From 'Final Fantasy XIV'

The Wave Shamshir Blade is so curved it hits the wielder.

13
24 33
Tournesol From 'Final Fant... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
Tournesol From 'Final Fantasy XII'

Tournesol is thin, weirdly shaped, and pointy in all the wrong places.

14
20 33
The Treaty Blade From 'Fin... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Most Absurd Final Fantasy Weapons Ranked By Impracticality
The Treaty Blade From 'Final Fantasy XII'

The Treaty Blade is filled with actual holes.