writers The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History  

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List Rules Vote up the authors whose next book should be an apology letter.

No matter how brilliant or groundbreaking or bro-appealing a piece of literature may be, it fails to make up for the pretentious authors behind them. The most pretentious writers of the world, despite their ways with written words, fail terribly when it comes to opening their mouths, usually because their foot is in the way. Many authors who are douches retain any semblance of literary cred only due to the equally douchey masses who praise their often overrated books. Relying heavily gimmicks or "their own personal style" instead of true substance, numerous douchey writers give off an air of trying to be deep (read this back-and-forth between Natalie Portman and Jonathan Safran Foer to get an idea).

The annoying writers of this list frustrate the world for a number of reasons. Some actively embodied the term "hypocrite," taking support from the very systems their works admonished (hello, welfare recipient Ayn Rand). Others simply ride the coattails of their past works to remain relevant, unable to understand no one's actually read American Psycho. But what unites all these writers are their acolytes, who will stop their fixed-gear bikes to tell you "Well, actually," your negative opinion of their books is wrong. Never mind them though, for you know the truth: that Walden pond was nowhere near the wildnerness.

list ordered by

1
238 113
Ayn Rand is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Ayn Rand Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, Philosophy: Who Needs It

23 History-Filled Bars And Pubs Where Famous Writers Hung Out The Greatest Graphic Novels and Collected Editions

2
143 79
Dan Brown is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Dan Brown The Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, Digital Fortress

3
77 38
David Foster Wallace is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
David Foster Wallace Infinite Jest, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again: Essays and Arguments

4
67 32
Jonathan Safran Foer is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Jonathan Safran Foer Everything is Illuminated, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Eating Animals

5
54 23
Jonathan Franzen is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Jonathan Franzen The Corrections, The Twenty-Seventh City, The Discomfort Zone: A Personal History

6
77 44
Bret Easton Ellis is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Bret Easton Ellis American Psycho, Less Than Zero, Glamorama

7
104 69
Jack Kerouac is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Jack Kerouac On the Road, The Dharma Bums, Desolation Angels

8
55 29
Dave Eggers is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Dave Eggers A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, What Is the What, A Hologram for the King

9
72 44
James Joyce is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
James Joyce Ulysses, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Finnegans Wake

10
63 38
Norman Mailer is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Norman Mailer The Naked and the Dead, The Executioner's Song, Ancient Evenings

11
65 45
Salman Rushdie is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Salman Rushdie The Satanic Verses, Midnight's Children, Shame

12
46 31
Philip Roth is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Philip Roth American Pastoral, Portnoy's Complaint, The Human Stain

13
48 34
Thomas Pynchon is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Thomas Pynchon Gravity's Rainbow, The Crying of Lot 49, Mason & Dixon

14
107 90
J. D. Salinger is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
J. D. Salinger The Catcher in the Rye, Franny and Zooey, Nine Stories

15
23 17
Jonathan Lethem is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Jonathan Lethem Motherless Brooklyn, Kafka Americana, The Wall of the Sky^! the Wall of the Eye

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16
65 61
Henry David Thoreau is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Henry David Thoreau Walden, Civil Disobedience, Faith in a seed

17
35 30
John Updike is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
John Updike Rabbit^! Run, Rabbit at Rest, Rabbit Is Rich

18
25 20
Miranda July is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Miranda July No One Belongs Here More Than You, Learning to Love You More, Tin House

19
22 17
Tao Lin is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Tao Lin Richard Yates, Zen yang dang yi ming he ge di ji zhe, Taipei

20
22 20
Don DeLillo is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Don DeLillo White Noise, Underworld, Libra

21
61 66
Charles Bukowski is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Charles Bukowski Post Office, Ham on Rye, Women

22
96 106
Ernest Hemingway is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Ernest Hemingway The Old Man and the Sea, A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bell Tolls

23
25 27
Michael Chabon is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Michael Chabon The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Wonder Boys, The Yiddish Policemen's Union

24
37 44
Anthony Burgess is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Anthony Burgess A Clockwork Orange, Inside Mr. Enderby, Joysprick

25
13 16
Joe Meno is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Joe Meno BrickJournal Compendium Volume 1, Demons in the Spring, How the Hula Girl Sings

26
50 60
Leo Tolstoy is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Leo Tolstoy War and Peace, Anna Karenina, Resurrection

27
86 105
Stephen King is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
George Ripley added Stephen King Needful Things, The Stand, The Shining

28
41 52
Nathaniel Hawthorne is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Nathaniel Hawthorne The Scarlet Letter, The Blithedale Romance, The Marble Faun

29
11 16
Kym Denise Taylor-Reid is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
OccamsRazor added Kym Denise Taylor-Reid

Hasn't written a book yet, but will surely look down her nose at you if she ever does!

The Best George Orwell Quotes Things You Spend the Most Time Doing as a Parent

30
22 30
Dan Simmons is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Dan Simmons Hyperion, Song of Kali, Carrion Comfort

31
6 13
Kym Denise Taylor-Reid is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
OccamsRazor added Kym Denise Taylor-Reid

32
6 13
Kym Denise Taylor-Reid is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
OccamsRazor added Kym Denise Taylor-Reid

33
6 14
Kym Denise Taylor-Reid is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
OccamsRazor added Kym Denise Taylor-Reid

34
5 14
Kym Denise Taylor-Reid is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
OccamsRazor added Kym Denise Taylor-Reid

35
5 15
Kym Denise Taylor-Reid is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
OccamsRazor added Kym Denise Taylor-Reid

36
22 39
Nick Hornby is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Nick Hornby High Fidelity, A Long Way Down, Click

37
57 91
Chuck Palahniuk is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Most Unbearably Pretentious Authors In Literary History
Chuck Palahniuk Fight Club, Haunted, Choke