Button Mash Video Game Characters You Never Noticed Were Total Sexual Deviants  

John Saavedra
548 votes 174 voters 5.3k views 10 items

List Rules Vote up the video game characters who make you embarrassed to be controlling.

Weird sex references have always existed in the background of video games, but they've become especially prevalent in the last 20 years. As game technology has caught up with Hollywood, creators are increasingly able to dish out seemingly endless fantasy worlds to delight thirsty players. 

Developers can now render sex scenes in much greater detail, and even design some scenes to allow player participation. A few studios have managed to push the envelope by delivering some truly raunchy cut-scenes and mini-games for their fans to enjoy.

The uptick in polygonal sexuality has resulted in quite a few video game characters who are total pervs. Just look at Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher series; the monster hunter gets to sleep with quite a few women, and loves collecting mementos from all of his wild nights in bed (or on the back of a unicorn). 

Then there are the more predatory protagonists, such as Tim from Braid and James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2. These sexually deviant perverts' desires run much darker than simply wanting to live happily ever after at the end of the game. 

King Koopa is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Video Game Characters You Never Noticed Were Total Sexual Deviants
Photo:  Super Mario Odyssey/Nintendo

Bowser's intentions towards Princess Peach have always been questionable. Kidnapping her is never just about taking over the Mushroom Kingdom and luring Mario into a trap; Bowser is also very interested in marrying her and having inter-species children. Why else would he fantasize that Peach is Bowser Jr.'s mother in Super Mario Sunshine?

In Super Mario Odyssey, Bowser decides to skip over the whole marriage thing by kidnapping Peach and forcing her to say, "I do," before Mario can save her. What he probably planned to do next is too cringeworthy to even think about. 

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Geralt of Rivia is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Video Game Characters You Never Noticed Were Total Sexual Deviants
Photo:  The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt/CD Projekt

Nothing screams "healthy" like collecting a trophy every time you have sex with someone new. Geralt of Rivia, the main protagonist of The Witcher series, collects "romance cards" after every sweaty, dirty encounter, and the games give players the chance to compile a potentially hefty deck. 

Every time the player unlocks a "romance scene," they are rewarded with a new playing card featuring Geralt's latest partner, which is then made forever accessible in Geralt's journal. The cards themselves are raunchy as Hell, and don't shy away from showing bare breasts and women bending over in suggestive positions. Luckily, the game glosses over all of Geralt's "solo romance scenes." 

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Solid Snake is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Video Game Characters You Never Noticed Were Total Sexual Deviants
Photo:  Metal Gear Solid 4/Konami

Do you ever wonder what goes on inside of Solid Snake's sneaking suit? Judging by the way he gets the hots for every woman he meets on the battlefield, his codename isn't the only thing that's solid. Forget his brief fling with Meryl, who is much younger than him in Metal Gear Solid. Snake's most pervy moment comes in Metal Gear Solid 4

In Guns of the Patriots, Snake — whose body is rapidly aging due to a virus — is on a mission to rescue Dr. Naomi Hunter. When they meet in a cabin in South America, it's clear that Old Snake is interested in more than just extracting Dr. Hunter.

At one point during their conversation, Snake pretends to drop a cigarette in order to get a better look at what's going on underneath Dr. Hunter's lab coat. The scene is about as subtle as a Metal Gear stomping through Shadow Moses. 

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James Sunderland Is A Sicko
James Sunderland Is A Sicko is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Video Game Characters You Never Noticed Were Total Sexual Deviants
Photo:  Silent Hill 2/Konami

Everything that happens in Silent Hill 2 is a manifestation of protagonist James Sunderland's darkest desires. When James first encounters the hideous Pyramid Head, he appears to be raping a demon nurse, which doesn't bode well for James's psyche. 

Every horrific entity that James encounters is symbolic of his sexual frustration, which built up during the three years he dealt with his now-deceased wife's debilitating illness. Then there's Maria, the aggressive, imaginary stand-in for James's late wife. She is healthy, sexy, and flirty; everything he hoped his wife would be. 

One look at James's experience in Silent Hill will tell you more than enough about the protagonist's fetishes. 

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