Weird sex references have always existed in the background of video games, but they've become especially prevalent in the last 20 years. As game technology has caught up with Hollywood, creators are increasingly able to dish out seemingly endless fantasy worlds to delight thirsty players.
Developers can now render sex scenes in much greater detail, and even design some scenes to allow player participation. A few studios have managed to push the envelope by delivering some truly raunchy cut-scenes and mini-games for their fans to enjoy.
The uptick in polygonal sexuality has resulted in quite a few video game characters who are total pervs. Just look at Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher series; the monster hunter gets to sleep with quite a few women, and loves collecting mementos from all of his wild nights in bed (or on the back of a unicorn).
Then there are the more predatory protagonists, such as Tim from Braid and James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2. These sexually deviant perverts' desires run much darker than simply wanting to live happily ever after at the end of the game.
Nothing screams "healthy" like collecting a trophy every time you have sex with someone new. Geralt of Rivia, the main protagonist of The Witcher series, collects "romance cards" after every sweaty, dirty encounter, and the games give players the chance to compile a potentially hefty deck.
Every time the player unlocks a "romance scene," they are rewarded with a new playing card featuring Geralt's latest partner, which is then made forever accessible in Geralt's journal. The cards themselves are raunchy as Hell, and don't shy away from showing bare breasts and women bending over in suggestive positions. Luckily, the game glosses over all of Geralt's "solo romance scenes."
Do you ever wonder what goes on inside of Solid Snake's sneaking suit? Judging by the way he gets the hots for every woman he meets on the battlefield, his codename isn't the only thing that's solid. Forget his brief fling with Meryl, who is much younger than him in Metal Gear Solid. Snake's most pervy moment comes in Metal Gear Solid 4.
In Guns of the Patriots, Snake — whose body is rapidly aging due to a virus — is on a mission to rescue Dr. Naomi Hunter. When they meet in a cabin in South America, it's clear that Old Snake is interested in more than just extracting Dr. Hunter.
At one point during their conversation, Snake pretends to drop a cigarette in order to get a better look at what's going on underneath Dr. Hunter's lab coat. The scene is about as subtle as a Metal Gear stomping through Shadow Moses.
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Bowser's intentions towards Princess Peach have always been questionable. Kidnapping her is never just about taking over the Mushroom Kingdom and luring Mario into a trap; Bowser is also very interested in marrying her and having inter-species children. Why else would he fantasize that Peach is Bowser Jr.'s mother in Super Mario Sunshine?
In Super Mario Odyssey, Bowser decides to skip over the whole marriage thing by kidnapping Peach and forcing her to say, "I do," before Mario can save her. What he probably planned to do next is too cringeworthy to even think about.
You don't have to play through much of the Halo series to get the vibe that there's something more going on between Master Chief and Cortana. The two are flirting from the moment Chief shoves a chip containing the AI lady into the back of his head; the very gesture feels strangely phallic. In what follows, Chief regularly abandons his duties to save Cortana from the Covenant.
By Halo 4, the romance between the duo is all too clear. After Chief spends the whole game trying to save a rampant Cortana from losing her mind, the two finally share a tearful goodbye. In her last moments — and after somehow gaining a physical form — she touches Chief's armor and exhales.
"I've waited so long to do that," she says. The two look like they're about to kiss.
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