Things That Happen In High School Teen Dramas That Never Happen In Real Life

The gym did not look that good. People were not dancing like that. Everybody's parents did not also attend the dance to relive their high school glory days or to "chaperone." Nobody spiked a public punch bowl. Nobody gave a dramatic speech. There wasn't a murderous vampire roaming the unlit hallways. Prom was pretty boring.

Do you know what would happen if one of your classmates died under suspicious circumstances every month? You would move! But no, the towns of high school teen dramas seem to be alright with the fact that a student dies or is seriously injured by a car crash, drug overdose, or psycho killer every now and again. They could even have their daughters terrorized by a violent anonymous stalker for years and still not consider moving! That's community right there.

According to teen TV shows, every town has one good, caring parent. A Karen Scott, if you will. A Rufus Humphrey. A Sandy Cohen. Every other parent is either a really, really bad parent, or they're just gone, using a flimsy excuse of work or money to not live in the same city as their teenaged child. Absentee parents might be a thing, but an entire suburb of unsupervised teens living alone in mansions isn't. On the bright side, without all those silly parents in the way, the underage drinking and sex can ensue without interruption!

Apparently all these high schools are so ancient that there's just one master key lying around to break in. Like when the Gossip Girl gang broke into the school pool to throw a late night rager, despite their apparent access to elite hotels which probably had pools they could use. Or when good girl Rory Gilmore broke into the Chilton Dean's office for some girl squad hazing, only to be caught less than two seconds later. Where are these students getting these keys? Do these incredibly wealthy prep schools have no cameras?

In TV show high schools, students don't waste their time learning silly things like calculus or history. No, teachers are going to partner you up (with your crush or your ex) and have you take care of an egg baby while also making a time capsule and writing compliments for each other in paper bags. It's all fluff.

That is, until the end of the year, when you have to turn in your one paper/project that determines if you pass or fail high school and whether or not you'll go to college, and something inevitably happens to that paper/project. How stressful to be a high school TV teen!

Most high school kids looking to hang can maybe find a corner by the staircase to huddle into for a second before being knocked into by a group of people running in the hallway. But the Riverdale kids get to casually investigate murder from the comfort of their very own game room, complete with vending machines, couches, and an air hockey table.

Other chill hang out areas you might spot in rich TV schools include courtyards, terraces, fountains, and gardens.