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Movie Heroes Who Just Can't Keep A Girlfriend

September 9, 2021 163 votes 28 voters13 items

List RulesVote up the heroes who will never settle down.

Even though they save the world for queen and country, or just out of some kind of psychotic need to make the world a better place, the one thing the following heroes can't do is keep a girlfriend. Superhero love interests rarely stick around. Unless they're integral to the plot of a film like Lois Lane or Mary Jane Watson, love interests tend to be thrown out like yesterday's popcorn in favor of a new gal to keep our hero's head spinning.

In some cases, the love interests are recast with newer, younger actresses, and a few of them even get their own spin-offs, but more often than not, the characters are zapped out of the series, never to be heard from again. It makes sense logically - if Batman or James Bond settled down, they wouldn't be able to jet off to Jakarta or the moon or whatever and save the day. However, there are plenty of other heroes who just can't seem to commit for one reason or another.

It's up to you to decide which of these movie heroes have trouble juggling their relationships and which of these guys are just players.

  • Photo: Batman / Warner Bros.

    No one tears through girlfriends quite like Bruce Wayne. From Vicki Vale to Chase Meridian to Rachel Dawes to the unnamed collection of supermodels and European dancers whom Wayne uses as arm candy, each of these women is cast off at some point following the closing credits and replaced with a newer model for the sequel.

    Wayne has to play girlfriend hot potato for a few reasons; notably, he wants to keep the people he loves safe from the psychos who call Gotham home. There's also the playboy aspect of the Bruce Wayne persona that only works if there's a new girlfriend every few months. 

    This Gotham girl switcheroo wouldn't be such a big deal if most of his girlfriends weren't so cool. Vicki Vale is an award-winning photojournalist who seems to be genuinely cool with Wayne's whole shut-in vibe, and Chase Meridian actually understands the strange psychology of his dual personality. It's telling that the one partner Wayne really tries to hold onto is Selina Kyle, a woman who has her own secrets and refuses to be tied down.

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  • Photo: Casino Royale / Sony Pictures Releasing

    Woe to the woman who falls in love with James Bond. This suave secret agent has been dropping girlfriends like dirty laundry since 1962, when he hooked up with shell saleswoman Honey Ryder and then never spoke to her again. As the 007 series has progressed, the women in Bond's life have met exponentially cruel fates.

    With more than 20 films under his belt, Bond has an impressive list of exes, so it's impossible to cover them all, but the gals who most impressed audiences are those who should have stuck around for more than one installment. Throughout Bond's golden era, he discarded gal pals with ease - either by ghosting them once the credits rolled or through more aggressive means.

    One-and-done gal pals like Christmas Jones, Jinx, and Kissy Suzuki are lucky enough to avoid getting murked by one of Bond's many enemies, but it's the women who fall in love who are really in trouble. Bond's marriage to countess Tracy di Vicenzo ends in heartbreak after she's shot in a drive-by shooting, likely sending the secret agent on a series of one-night stands and empty relationships. It's not until the modern era that Bond really puts himself out there again for Vesper Lynde, a MI6 treasury agent who drowns inside a cage that she locked to keep Bond from saving her. Maybe it's best if Bond takes a vow of celibacy.

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  • Photo: Raiders of the Lost Ark / Paramount Pictures

    There's no time for love for Doctor Jones. It's not like he doesn't want to feel the embrace of a beautiful woman - it's just every time he gets close to someone, there's always a mysterious historical artifact that has to be tracked down and a girlfriend would just get in the way.

    Indy's best-known romance is with Marion Ravenwood, the daughter of one of his professors. She and Jones had an intense relationship before he left her to operate a bar in the middle of nowhere while he traveled the world in search of adventure. Their on-again, off-again relationship was broken up by his brief dalliance with nightclub singer Willie Scott and Nazi art professor Elsa Schneider, both of whom were either airlifted out of his life or ended through an act of God. 

    Jones only returned to Marion when he discovered that the two had a child together, but it's still unclear whether or not that will keep the adventurous archaeologist from setting sail on the high seas of excitement again. When it comes down to it, if you're not some kind of artifact that was thought to be lost thousands of years ago, then Indiana Jones doesn't have time for you.

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  • Photo: X-Men Origins: Wolverine / 20th Century Fox

    When you have a brain riddled with amnesia and multiple lifetimes' worth of fighting and chopping people up with the retractable bone claws in your hands, then a few girlfriends are going to slip through the cracks. In spite of his deep love for fellow X-Men member, Jean Grey, Logan has loved and left more women than can be counted. 

    In his cinematic appearances alone, Wolverine has collected a staggering amount of disappearing girlfriends. X-Men Origins: Wolverine introduced audiences to Kayla Silverfox, a telepath with the ability to help Logan get some much-needed chill. She doesn't make it to the end credits, and in The Wolverine, Logan has moved on to Mariko Yoshida, the granddaughter of one of Wolverine's oldest pals. She survives a run-in with Silver Samurai, but the same can't be said of their relationship.

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