If there was one genre of film that the world could do without, it would be movies based on stupid things like board games, apps, and action figures. The films are rarely good and they're rarely financially successful, so why do movie studios keep licensing these properties? Maybe it’s easier to create a film with a built-in fanbase than it is to start from scratch. But even with that in mind, films based on toys and the like are usually garbage. The best you can hope for when you go to see a movie that’s nothing more than a secret commercial is something so transcendently bad that you don’t regret spending your hard-earned cash to watch a 90-minute ad.
The rash of films based on board games is particularly upsetting. The only film that managed to make it out of the board game ghetto when any dignity is Clue, and even that madcap piece of comedic genius has its detractors. The cynicism that it takes to make a film based off of a board game or a video game with no real narrative usually infuses the film with a silent hate for its audience, and viewers can feel that. So the next time you’re trying to figure out what to see on a Friday night, please don’t go see a movie based on a card game. It will only make you feel worse.
Vote up the movies that were bad ideas from the start, the films that adapted "material" never meant for adaptation.
Who thought that a movie based on a line of toys that were the focus of the American Psychological Association's "Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls" was a good idea? And what does it say about your film when the two biggest names are Jon Voight and Chet Hanks?
The film was definitely a failure, but the one review that sums up the world's feeling on Bratz: The Movie the best comes from the Willamette Week: "When I walked out during the end credits, Voight was spying on our triumphant heroines through binoculars, making me feel even dirtier than when I sheepishly approached the box office and requested, 'One for Bratz, please.'"
Trying to figure out why The Garbage Pail Kids trading cards were popular enough to warrant a film adaptation is like trying to figure out why a major television network once gave Chevy Chase his own talk show. Everything about this film makes it a confusing, fruitless endeavor.
Not only is this movie "one of the worst films ever made," but it's also one of the grossest films ever marketed to children.
There are a cornucopia of reasons why making Dungeons & Dragons is a bad idea, the biggest being that the tabletop game is meant to be an immersive experience that you play with your friends, one in which you create the story together, using your imaginations to do the heavy lifting.
The film holds a 10% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which is actually very generous.
Despite spending the late '80s and early '90s as a basic side scrolling game, the Super Mario franchise could conceivably offer a handful of jumping off points for interesting stories, but the 1993 film follows none of them. Instead, the filmmakers go rogue and try to tell a gritty sci-fi story that is nonsensical even for a movie about a plumber who eats mushrooms to turn into a giant.
If you weren't aware, this is considered one of the worst video game adaptations ever - which is saying something when you think about all the stinkers Uwe Boll has made. According to the film's star, Bob Hoskins, self-medicating with alcohol was absolutely necessary to make it through the production.
#93 on The Best Movies of 1993