If there is one thing that is undoubtedly true about the benefits of big-budget filmmaking, it's that Hollywood really knows how to bring human-eating movie monsters to life on the big screen. The magic of CGI can make nightmarish creatures seem real, and when these beasties attack, production teams behind the films love to make a spectacle with them. And what is more spectacular than having a character get eaten in one large bite?
This is Lord Farquaad getting chomped at the altar in Shrek. This is Samuel L. Jackson getting gulped out of nowhere in Deep Blue Sea. This is that one guy getting completely swallowed by King Shark in The Suicide Squad. You'd think humans would take longer to eat, wouldn't you?
2002's Reign of Fire is the kind of big swing Hollywood just doesn't take anymore. The movie sees dragons emerge after hibernating for hundreds of years, and Christian Bale's Quinn Abercromby and Matthew McConaughey's Denton Van Zan must team up in this new reality to take them down. It's too weird, nonsensical, and self-serious to completely work, but you could do far worse than turning this on for some entertainment on a rainy afternoon.
If you can't get on board with two guys named "Quinn Abercromby" and "Denton Van Zan" fighting dragons in a post-apocalyptic 2020, then that's your problem. For his part, McConaughey's totally-ripped Van Zan provides the best moment of the film, where he sacrifices himself to distract a dragon from getting his allies. He does this by leaping at it, shirtless, with an ax. He is promptly swallowed in one bite. Hilarious and cool!Quick bite?
- Photo: Sony Pictures Releasing
How disgusting was Vincent D'Onofrio's alien bug in 1997's Men in Black? Kids all over the globe had nightmares of that thing - and with good reason. He was huge, horrifying, and hard to forget. Agent K's big plan at the end of the film didn't much help, either. After the bug swallows both J and K's guns, K decides to taunt the alien until he eats the man. He literally shouts, "Eat me!" at the monster over and over as only Tommy Lee Jones could. The bug obliges, swallowing K in one big gulp.
Unfortunately for the antagonist, K wanted to be eaten so he could grab his sidearm and eliminate the thing from the inside out. It doesn't end up taking out the bug - Dr. Laurel Weaver has the honors of doing that a few moments later - but it does put a hamper in his style, obliterating the bottom half of his body.Quick bite?
Everybody loves Drax. Dave Bautista has proven to be one of the best parts of both the Guardians films, as well as Avengers: Infinity War. He's funny. He's deadly. He's all-around great. But Drax isn't the smartest guy around. There are numerous examples of this. "Why is Gamora?" "Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it." "I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still, that I become invisible to the eye." See? Not so bright.
When the Guardians are fighting the Abilisk during the opening of 2017's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Drax decides he must terminate the animal from the inside due to its hide being too thick to pierce. Gamora tries to tell him that the inside will also be too thick to pierce, but Drax promptly jumps in the beast's mouth without a second thought. The other Guardians end up killing the Abilisk, saving Drax, but the doof takes credit for the kill - even though his knives were clearly doing nothing from inside the beast. Classic Drax!Quick bite?
- Photo: Universal Pictures
Talk about getting caught with your pants down. Okay, yes, Gennaro wasn't really using the facilities when he got eaten by the terrifying T. rex in 1993's Jurassic Park, but it doesn't matter. Character actor Martin Ferrero will forever be known as the guy who got offed by a dinosaur while sitting on a toilet. Those are just the breaks.
To be fair, it is an iconic scene that showcases just how mighty that T. rex is with the massive dino ripping through the restroom shack as if it were made of papier-mâché. But Spielberg, Crichton, and the rest of their crew really did the dude dirty. Although, if he was scared enough to pee his pants, he was already in a situation where he could've taken care of that. Maybe they were doing him a favor?Quick bite?