• Total Nerd

12 Times Characters Were Eaten In One Bite

List RulesVote up the characters who didn't make for a very long meal.

If there is one thing that is undoubtedly true about the benefits of big-budget filmmaking, it's that Hollywood really knows how to bring human-eating movie monsters to life on the big screen. The magic of CGI can make nightmarish creatures seem real, and when these beasties attack, production teams behind the films love to make a spectacle with them. And what is more spectacular than having a character get eaten in one large bite?

This is Lord Farquaad getting chomped at the altar in Shrek. This is Samuel L. Jackson getting gulped out of nowhere in Deep Blue Sea. This is that one guy getting completely swallowed by King Shark in The Suicide Squad. You'd think humans would take longer to eat, wouldn't you?

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  • One of the most memorable film moments of the late '90s, Samuel L. Jackson's Russell Franklin gets absolutely chomped out of nowhere halfway through 1999's Deep Blue Sea. Right in the middle of a passionate speech too! That speech begins with the legendary line, "You think water's fast? You should see ice," and ends with one of Hollywood's enduring stars getting mauled by a shark. Because Deep Blue Sea is a top-tier B-movie that deserves your admiration.

    Though, in hindsight, the shot composition is clearly setting this up, this isn't one of those ends audiences saw coming from a mile away. No, this was a jump-scare death of the highest order. Sure, the CGI is dated, but that just adds to the charm - as does the rest of the crew's muted reaction to the death.

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  • Talk about getting caught with your pants down. Okay, yes, Gennaro wasn't really using the facilities when he got eaten by the terrifying T. rex in 1993's Jurassic Park, but it doesn't matter. Character actor Martin Ferrero will forever be known as the guy who got offed by a dinosaur while sitting on a toilet. Those are just the breaks.

    To be fair, it is an iconic scene that showcases just how mighty that T. rex is with the massive dino ripping through the restroom shack as if it were made of papier-mâché. But Spielberg, Crichton, and the rest of their crew really did the dude dirty. Although, if he was scared enough to pee his pants, he was already in a situation where he could've taken care of that. Maybe they were doing him a favor?

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  • 2002's Reign of Fire is the kind of big swing Hollywood just doesn't take anymore. The movie sees dragons emerge after hibernating for hundreds of years, and Christian Bale's Quinn Abercromby and Matthew McConaughey's Denton Van Zan must team up in this new reality to take them down. It's too weird, nonsensical, and self-serious to completely work, but you could do far worse than turning this on for some entertainment on a rainy afternoon.

    If you can't get on board with two guys named "Quinn Abercromby" and "Denton Van Zan" fighting dragons in a post-apocalyptic 2020, then that's your problem. For his part, McConaughey's totally-ripped Van Zan provides the best moment of the film, where he sacrifices himself to distract a dragon from getting his allies. He does this by leaping at it, shirtless, with an ax. He is promptly swallowed in one bite. Hilarious and cool!

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  • Say what you want about the rest of the Shrek franchise as a whole, that original movie was original and hilarious back in 2001. And John Lithgow's Lord Farquaad is one of the stars of the show. He's diminutive. He's power-hungry. He's got a terrible haircut. Lithgow does amazing work as the tiny lord, making him a truly hateable figure by the end of the film.

    So, when Donkey shows up with his lover/future wife, the towering Dragon, and the massive creature eats Farquaad's newly-crowned little body, audiences can't help but laugh and cheer. It is exactly the kind of cartoon violence kids love to see on the big screen, and anyone who would torment the Gingerbread Man deserves such a fate.

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