Weird Nature

12 Things You Should Never Google: Nature Edition 

Brian Gilmore
Updated December 6, 2019 88.9k views 12 items

The Internet is full of any number of horrific and disturbing things, even when you're researching something as seemingly innocent as the natural world. There are so many nature things you shouldn't Google, be they animal, vegetable, or mineral. True, morbid curiosity drives a lot of what people search for. If that's your thing, here are all of the nature-oriented things you should never Google because they're either sad, disgusting, or unspeakable.

The results won't be shown on this list, but there will be descriptions of what you'll find if you do go down the rabbit hole. Warning: these may include animals you shouldn't Google because they're incredibly weird-looking or off-putting. They may also include gross nature phenomena, and anything generally creepy that is found in nature in general. From weird animal mouths to alarming animal penises, to bugs and sea creatures that are straight up nightmare fuel, here they are in all their glory.

Bear Novel
Bear Novel is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 12 Things You Should Never Google: Nature Edition
Photo:  Bear/David R. Godine, Publisher

Bears often crop up in fiction, from Winnie-the-Pooh to The Berenstain Bears. But if you Google "Bear Novel," you'll discover a novel called Bear. Canadian author Marian Engel published this Governor General's Literary Award-winning novel about a lonely librarian who starts having intimate relations with a bear, and it took the Internet by storm in 2014 when a few pages from the novel were put on Imgur for everyone to read. There are lots of tales of forbidden love, but not quite like this one.

Turtle Penis
Turtle Penis is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 12 Things You Should Never Google: Nature Edition
Photo: Fabienkhan/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 2.5

You may have grown up loving the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Or maybe you had, or currently own, an adorable pet turtle. Either way, you should never Google "turtle penis" if you want to keep your childhood memories untainted.

The nightmarish aspect of turtle anatomy has to do with proportion. Their penises are huge compared to the rest of their frames; full-on erections can be about a quarter to a half of the size of their bodies.

Rock With Internal Organs
Rock With Internal Organ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 12 Things You Should Never Google: Nature Edition
Photo: Bachelot Pierre J-P/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 3.0

When you Google "rock with internal organs," you're going to see a lot of washed up pieces of rock that look like they have actual guts inside. Some particularly gnarly images show a "rock" split in half, revealing a bloody red stomach and what seems like a brain.

The "rock" is actually a sea-dwelling creature called Pyura chilensis. It's hermaphroditic, though it can mate if it chooses. It's also apparently tasty – Chilean locals eat P. chilensis both cooked and raw.

Lamprey Disease
Lamprey Disease is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 12 Things You Should Never Google: Nature Edition
Photo: Drow_male/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 3.0

"Lamprey disease" is a made-up virus you could supposedly get by "using a computer too much." It really caught on in 2007, thanks in part to a Photoshopped image featuring a man's eye socket with a lamprey's disgusting, teeth-riddled mouth where his eye should be. Other versions of the hoax claimed that fingers could be similarly damaged.

If Snopes hadn't proved the "disease" was a hoax, most people who saw the picture on the Internet would have become farmers by now.