Culture

25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes 

Jack Napier
Updated June 14, 2019 7.4k votes 1.4k voters 33.5k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up any joke that will make nerds laugh

Everyone loves a good smarty-pants joke, unless you’re a dum-dum - and if that’s the case, then start steppin’! Or start Googling to understand these nerd jokes. Then you can at least feel like you’re in on the giggles. The common misconception about nerds of all kinds is that they’re joyless blowhards who don’t know how to have a good time. Well, after reading these jokes, we’re pretty sure that fallacy’s going to fly straight out the window. Whether you’re an English major or a math geek, we’ve got nerdy jokes for you to wow at any cocktail party or family dinner. That’s right, you can be KING OF THE NERDS with any of these hilarious jokes.

Those with pun allergies, beware: the nerdy jokes on this list aren’t just funny; they’re punny. The funny nerd jokes on this list cover all your comedy bases: puns, knock knock jokes, and references to Descartes. Everyone knows you don't have a full joke arsenal until you’re making references to dead philosophers. Memorize your favorite nerd humor on this list, and try them out at your next chess club meeting or D&D game night. Then, have your pals vote on their favorite nerd joke, and leave us a comment if you think you’ve got one we haven’t heard. There’s nothing we love more than a good laugh.
list ordered by
1
Why Can't You Trust Atom... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Can't You Trust Atoms?
Because they make everything up!
2
The Past, The Present, a... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
The Past, The Present, and The Future Walked Into A Bar
It was tense. 
3
There's A Band Called 10... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
There's A Band Called 1023MB
They haven't had any gigs yet.
4
Where Does Bad Light End... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Where Does Bad Light End Up?
In prism.
 
5
What Do You Say When You... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Say When You Comfort A Grammar Nazi?
There, Their, They're.
6
There Are 10 Kinds Of Pe... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
There Are 10 Kinds Of People In This World
Those who understand binary. And those who don't.
7
What Do You Get When You... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Get When You Put Root Beer In A Square Glass?
Beer.
8
How Do You Know The Moon... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
How Do You Know The Moon Is Going Broke?
It's down to it's last quarter.
9
What Do You Call An Educ... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Call An Educated Tube?
A graduated cylander. 
10
What Do You Call Two Cro... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Call Two Crows On A Branch?
Attempted Murder.
11
What's Another Name For ... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What's Another Name For Santa's Elves?
Subordinate Clauses.
 
12
How Many Theoretical Phy... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
How Many Theoretical Physicists Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the lightbulb, and one to rotate the universe.
13
Why Did I Divide Sin By ... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Did I Divide Sin By Tan?
Just cos. 
14
Why Did The Bear Dissolv... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Did The Bear Dissolve In Water?
It was polar. 
15
Schrödinger's Cat W... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Schrödinger's Cat Walks Into A Bar
And doesn't.
16
What's a Physicist's Fav... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What's a Physicist's Favorite Food?
Fission Chips.
 
17
Did You Hear About The M... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Did You Hear About The Man Who Got Cooled To Absolute Zero?
He's OK now. 
18
Why Does Burger Have Les... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Does Burger Have Less Energy Than A Steak?
Because a burger is in it's ground state. 
19
What Does A Subatomic Du... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Does A Subatomic Duck Say?
Quark.
20
How Many Surrealists Doe... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
How Many Surrealists Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
A Fish.
21
Why Did Karl Marx Dislik... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Did Karl Marx Dislike Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
22
Descartes Walks Into A B... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Descartes Walks Into A Bar. The Bartender Asks If He Wants A Drink
Descartes answers, "I think not" and disappears. 
23
Your Mother Is So Classl... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Your Mother Is So Classless
She could be a Marxist utopia!
24
The First Rule Of Tautol... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
The First Rule Of Tautology Club Is...
The First Rule Of Tautology Club
 
25
What Is A Cation Afraid ... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Is A Cation Afraid Of?
Dogions.