Total Nerd 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes  

Jack Napier
6.9k votes 1.2k voters 28.8k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up any joke that will make nerds laugh

Everyone loves a good smarty-pants joke, unless you’re a dum-dum - and if that’s the case, then start steppin’! Or start Googling to understand these nerd jokes. Then you can at least feel like you’re in on the giggles. The common misconception about nerds of all kinds is that they’re joyless blowhards who don’t know how to have a good time. Well, after reading these jokes, we’re pretty sure that fallacy’s going to fly straight out the window. Whether you’re an English major or a math geek, we’ve got nerdy jokes for you to wow at any cocktail party or family dinner. That’s right, you can be KING OF THE NERDS with any of these hilarious jokes.

Those with pun allergies, beware: the nerdy jokes on this list aren’t just funny; they’re punny. The funny nerd jokes on this list cover all your comedy bases: puns, knock knock jokes, and references to Descartes. Everyone knows you don't have a full joke arsenal until you’re making references to dead philosophers. Memorize your favorite nerd humor on this list, and try them out at your next chess club meeting or D&D game night. Then, have your pals vote on their favorite nerd joke, and leave us a comment if you think you’ve got one we haven’t heard. There’s nothing we love more than a good laugh.
list ordered by

1
392 98
The Past, The Present, and The... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
The Past, The Present, and The Future Walked Into A Bar It was tense. 

2
453 127
Why Can't You Trust Atoms? is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Can't You Trust Atoms? Because they make everything up!

3
296 78
There's A Band Called 1023MB is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
There's A Band Called 1023MB They haven't had any gigs yet.

4
298 87
Where Does Bad Light End Up? is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Where Does Bad Light End Up? In prism.  

5
275 76
There Are 10 Kinds Of People I... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
There Are 10 Kinds Of People In This World Those who understand binary. And those who don't.

6
324 109
What Do You Say When You Comfo... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Say When You Comfort A Grammar Nazi? There, Their, They're.

7
246 67
How Do You Know The Moon Is Go... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
How Do You Know The Moon Is Going Broke? It's down to it's last quarter.

8
256 75
What Do You Get When You Put R... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Get When You Put Root Beer In A Square Glass? Beer.

9
237 65
What Do You Call An Educated T... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Call An Educated Tube? A graduated cylander. 

10
213 65
What Do You Call Two Crows On ... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Do You Call Two Crows On A Branch? Attempted Murder.

11
210 72
What's Another Name For Santa'... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What's Another Name For Santa's Elves? Subordinate Clauses.  

12
182 58
How Many Theoretical Physicist... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
How Many Theoretical Physicists Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? Two. One to hold the lightbulb, and one to rotate the universe.

13
179 64
Why Did I Divide Sin By Tan? is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Did I Divide Sin By Tan? Just cos. 

14
174 62
Why Did The Bear Dissolve In W... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Did The Bear Dissolve In Water? It was polar. 

15
149 53
Why Does Burger Have Less Ener... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Does Burger Have Less Energy Than A Steak? Because a burger is in it's ground state. 

16
167 68
Schrödinger's Cat Walks I... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Schrödinger's Cat Walks Into A Bar And doesn't.

17
158 63
What's a Physicist's Favorite ... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What's a Physicist's Favorite Food? Fission Chips.  

18
158 63
Did You Hear About The Man Who... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Did You Hear About The Man Who Got Cooled To Absolute Zero? He's OK now. 

19
148 63
What Does A Subatomic Duck Say... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Does A Subatomic Duck Say? Quark.

20
130 69
How Many Surrealists Does It T... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
How Many Surrealists Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? A Fish.

21
118 67
Why Did Karl Marx Dislike Earl... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Why Did Karl Marx Dislike Earl Grey Tea? Because all proper tea is theft.

22
110 69
Your Mother Is So Classless is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Your Mother Is So Classless She could be a Marxist utopia!

23
113 75
Descartes Walks Into A Bar. Th... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
Descartes Walks Into A Bar. The Bartender Asks If He Wants A Drink Descartes answers, "I think not" and disappears. 

24
92 62
The First Rule Of Tautology Cl... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
The First Rule Of Tautology Club Is... The First Rule Of Tautology Club  

25
92 71
What Is A Cation Afraid Of? is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list 25 Pretty Good Nerd Jokes
What Is A Cation Afraid Of? Dogions.