Total Nerd

20 Bizarre Obsessions That Prove The Nazis Were Huge Nerds 

Jacob Shelton
132.3k views 20 items

Nazis were insufferable. Everyone knows about their campaign to eradicate every member of the population who didn’t fit into their ideal of the perfect human, but no one ever talks about all the nerdy things the Nazis did. From trying to find the holy grail to looking for the lost city of Atlantis, the Nazis were dorks straight down to their bones.

When you think about it, Hitler was the worst version of a D&D nerd. Not only was he obsessed with arbitrary rules, he had trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy, and that inability to determine what was real and what was fiction actually made him a successful leader until he completely lost it and went down with his terrible ship. Keep reading to find out all the things that prove Nazis were huge nerds.

If Nazis weren’t already the most maligned group of boneheads on the face of the earth, this collection of their dorkiest interests places them at the bottom of the list for who you’d want to ask to prom. Prepare yourself to go down the rabbit hole of nerdy obsessions, and remember, not all nerds are cool. Check out some super nerdy things the Nazis did. 

Hitler and the Spear of Destiny
Hitler and the Spear of ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 20 Bizarre Obsessions That Prove The Nazis Were Huge Nerds
Photo:  Arnoldius/Creative Commons

The Spear of Destiny, or the Holy Lance, is supposedly the spear used to stab Jesus in his side as he was crucified. The Spear of Destiny was said to give its owner mystical powers, and Hitler had to get his grimy mitts on it. He was able to take control of the spear in 1938, when Germany annexed Austria. Little did Hitler know, the spear is cursed - anyone who gives it up dies. On April 30, 1945, when American troops were kicking Nazis in the pants, the spear fell into the hands of General Patton, and Hitler committed suicide. There's a brief bit about the spear in Hellboy.

Hitler Just Had to Have the Holy Grail
Hitler Just Had to Have ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 20 Bizarre Obsessions That Prove The Nazis Were Huge Nerds
Photo: Arthur Rackham/Public Domain

Would it surprise you to learn that Hitler was really into the knights of the roundtable? True story. Old Adolf thought that if he could find the Grail, he could combine it with the Spear of Destiny, and Jesus' crown of thorns and form the Arma Christi, or instruments of Christ’s Passion that are said to give their owner supernatural powers. Nerd alert! 

The Ahnenerbe Institute
The Ahnenerbe Institute ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 20 Bizarre Obsessions That Prove The Nazis Were Huge Nerds
Photo: sateentapirs/Tumblr

The Ahnenerbe Institute was initially created to research the cultural history of the Aryan race, but because it was being led by Heinrich Himmler (who was a complete sci-fi nerd), it quickly turned into Himmler's private pseudoscience research lab. One of the biggest duds of the Institute was its failed research into the mythological Nordic people that tried to tie Arthurian legend into Nordic mythology. It was basically like Himmler was writing his own comic book. 

The Nazis Had Designs on Antarctica
The Nazis Had Designs on... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 20 Bizarre Obsessions That Prove The Nazis Were Huge Nerds
Photo:  Unsplash/Pixabay/CC0 1.0

So New Swabia was actually a thing, and maybe one of the worst territorial ideas the Nazis ever had. In 1939, Germany sent an expedition of scientists and soldiers to Antarctica to create a whaling station and increase Germany's supply of oil, but there are also stories of the Third Reich creating an underground ice cave where they could store Nazis until they would be called upon to go fight penguins or whatever's living on Antarctica. There's a whiff of Lex Luthor in this bizarre scheme.