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1.9k voters

The Best New Years Jokes

Updated June 14, 2019 5.0k votes 1.9k voters 63.7k views25 items

List RulesVote up any funny joke about New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is a time honored tradition of going out with your friends and remembering the best parts of the year and resolving to be better at the stuff you weren’t so good at. Also there’s a lot of drinking involved. At least that’s what most of these New Year's jokes are about. There’s a lot of new years humor out in the world, what with it being the most celebrated holiday ever, and it was tough to put together a list of the funniest new years jokes but, believe it or not, here it is. Now read through these New Year's puns before you’re late for next year!

If you’re looking for funny New Year's jokes to tell at a party this year, then you’re in the right place. This list is chock full of enough New Year's Eve puns to keep you laughing into the new year! If you’re tired of being the only person at the party without a few funny New Year's Eve jokes hidden up your sleeve, you’ll want to keep this list on hand all evening in case the perfect moment presents itself right before the countdown. Whether you’re hosting a New Year's Eve party or going out on the town, this list of hilarious jokes about New Year's Eve is bound to make you laugh off your goofy New Year's glasses.

Vote on your favorite jokes about New Year's Eve, and after you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest jokes about snow!

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  • What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?1
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    What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?

    That your parents started the new year with a BANG!
  • What is a New Years Resolution?2
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    What is a New Years Resolution?

    Something that goes in one year and out the other. 

  • Youth is When You're Allowed to Stay Up For New Years3
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    Youth is When You're Allowed to Stay Up For New Years

    Middle age is when you're forced to. 
  • What's the One Group That Hates New Years Day?4
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    What's the One Group That Hates New Years Day?

    The Times Square clean up crew. 
  • What Happened to the Irish Man Who Thought about the Evils of Drinking in the New Year?5
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    What Happened to the Irish Man Who Thought about the Evils of Drinking in the New Year?

    He gave up thinking.
  • What's the Problem with Jogging on New Years Eve?6
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    What's the Problem with Jogging on New Years Eve?

    The ice falls out of your drink!
  • What Do New Years Parades Have in Common with Santa Claus?7
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    What Do New Years Parades Have in Common with Santa Claus?

    No one is awake to see either of them. 
  • What's the forecast for New Years Eve?8
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    What's the forecast for New Years Eve?

    Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out. 
  • What Do You Call Wanting a Date for New Years Eve?9
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    What Do You Call Wanting a Date for New Years Eve?

    Social Security
  • How Did Prince Celebrate the Millennium?10
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    How Did Prince Celebrate the Millennium?

    He partied like it was 1999.
  • What Did Che Guevara Make on New Years Day?11
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    What Did Che Guevara Make on New Years Day?

    A new years REVOLUTION
  • What Do You Tell Someone You Didn't See on New Years Eve?12
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    What Do You Tell Someone You Didn't See on New Years Eve?

    I haven't seen you for a year!
  • When the New Years Baby's Voice Change?13
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    When the New Years Baby's Voice Change?

    When his ball dropped.
  • What's a Digital Camera's New Years Resolution?14
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    What's a Digital Camera's New Years Resolution?

    1080p
  • What Happens Every Year When the Times Square Ball Drops15
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    What Happens Every Year When the Times Square Ball Drops

    Every 12 year old boy gets jealous. 
  • What's a Cow's Favorite Holiday?16
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    What's a Cow's Favorite Holiday?

    MOO Years Day!
  • What Is Corn's Favorite Holiday?17
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    What Is Corn's Favorite Holiday?

    New EARS Day!
  • What Does a Field Grow on January 1st?18
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    What Does a Field Grow on January 1st?

    New Years hay. 
  • What Did the Chef Make For His New Years Dinner?19
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    What Did the Chef Make For His New Years Dinner?

    New Years Filet
  • What Kind of Toilets Do French People Use on January 1st?20
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    What Kind of Toilets Do French People Use on January 1st?

    A New Years BIDET!
  • Who is the New Years Baby's Favorite Painter?21
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    Who is the New Years Baby's Favorite Painter?

    New Years Monet
  • What Did the Founding Fathers Do on New Years Day?22
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    What Did the Founding Fathers Do on New Years Day?

    They signed the New Years CONSTITUTION!
  • Which Band is Considered Most Lucky to Listen to On New Years Day?23
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    Which Band is Considered Most Lucky to Listen to On New Years Day?

    The Black Eyed Peas.
  • What Did Stephen Like to be Called on December 31st?24
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    What Did Stephen Like to be Called on December 31st?

    New Years STEVE!
  • What Do Dead Beat Dads Make on New Years Day?25
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    What Do Dead Beat Dads Make on New Years Day?

    New Years RESTITUTION!