In a world where our next date is just a finger-swipe away, you're bound to have your fair share of duds. For women, sometimes the only thing worse than sleezy pervs who immediately ask for nudes are the cringeworthy "nice guy" encounters.
This is when you are approached and/or befriended by a guy who seems, on the surface, to be a genuinely nice guy, but really isn't. Sometimes it's a guy you just met who helps you down the stairs when you're injured, and then he throws your crutches on the ground in disgust when you don't want to go on a date with him. Sometimes it's a guy you've known for so long, you're certain he's a "nice guy," and then he waits for his girlfriend to leave the room to try to convince you to make babies with him. Either way, you are left wishing you had never met such a "nice guy."
If you have your own gross "nice guy" stories, or just want to know how to avoid becoming someone else's, check out this list, where women of Reddit share "nice guy" tales of their most cringeworthy encounters.
He Drugged My Drink So He Could Be My Hero
"I once was out with friends and my drink was spiked. One dude stayed with me to take care of me and my other friends left because we all knew him. Turns out he spiked my drink himself so he could 'save me' and show me how caring he was.
He told a mutual friend thinking that the guy would think it was a cool move. Our friend did not think it was cool, and told me what happened.
This dude also laced the one-hitter we were using with something that same night. I could have died, but he really thought he was being a genius pick up artist. The worst part is that we had actually been talking for a week or so before this - I clearly already liked him, and he still felt the need to do this.
Keep your eyes on your drink and trust your instincts."
Dated A "Nice Guy" For 5 Months, To Find Out He Thought We Were Just Friends With Benefits
"We met in a group in undergrad, became friends. Slowly we became closer, I developed a crush on him, started hanging out more on our own, and one night after some drinks it escalated to kissing/cuddling.
I messaged him later letting him know that while I enjoyed what happened, I didn't think it was a good idea for us to keep it up, as I had feelings for him, and wasn't interested in a Friends with Benefits kind of setup.
He told me that he kind of had feelings as well, and that it might be nice to see how a relationship developed. So we do. We start dating- dinners, movies, all the physical stuff that comes with a relationship. When he was briefly hospitalized, I spent every night there with him. I opened up to him over time, and told him about my history of sexual abuse, family history of substance abuse, etc. He opened up about his history of being used by his exes, how they were all horrible and had treated him horribly, how he's just always been so nice that everyone takes advantage of him, that all he wants is to find a nice girl who will love him for who he is and that he can treat like a princess.
One night (probably about 4-5 months in) we're laying in bed together watching a movie and I started telling him about a funny conversation I had at work, "So then I was saying, my boyfriend..." and I feel him stiffen up, and he kind of awkwardly says, "You know we're not dating, right? Like, I thought we just had a fun thing going..."
So, apparently we're FWB. The exact thing I told him I didn't want. I asked him if we could start dating then, and he said he was just too busy for a relationship (even though we were basically in one), blah blah. I told him I was hurt and felt used, and that I wasn't interested in being anything more than acquaintances in the future.
After that, I slowly started seeing someone, a guy who was actually pretty great and had actively pursued me, and guy #1 FLIPPED OUT. Apparently, even though he didn't want to be in a relationship with me, I wasn't allowed to be with anyone else.
For months afterward, he spent most of his time badmouthing me to whomever would listen, talking about how I used him, how I'm just like every other slut who thinks she's too good for everyone, how he had treated me so well and I had ripped his heart out. The worst part, though, was that he told numerous individuals and groups of people all about my personal history. Apparently, a couple of times, after a couple drinks, he would even start to cast doubt on it, comparing what I "did to him" to my past abuse, stating that it was surprising to him that an alleged rape victim would "rape" the feelings of innocent men. We no longer speak, but I still hear about things he's said about me a couple times a year.
It really made me wonder about all those "terrible" exes he had, and made me put more faith than ever into the thought that the way people talk to you about others is the same way they'll talk to others about you. What a niceguy."
He Threw My Crutches On The Floor When He Found Out I Had A Boyfriend
"A random guy held my crutches for me as I walked down some stairs at university. He seemed nice and joked about how he once broke a foot, it'll get better, etc etc. We get to the bottom and he asks if we could get some coffee. I thank him, but tell him I'm seeing someone so he just drops my crutches on the floor and walks away."
He Changed His Mind About Not Liking Me When I Started Dating Someone Else
"I had a crush on a dude in highschool, he was part of my BFFs circle so we were together a lot. I'm up-front so I was pretty clear that I had some feelings for him, but he was uninterested in being anything more than friends, whatever, I had another boy kinda chasing me so I gave him a shot and we start dating, and I kept the friendship with the Nice Guy.
Flash forward a year, Nice Guy has become one of my closest friends. We eat lunch together, hang out like everyday, and my boyfriend is often included, although they weren't close at all.
Then a week before Nice Guy leaves for college, he confesses that he's totally in love with me, my boyfriend will never fully understand me or treat me right (it's been 4 years and we are still together soooo), and I pretty much owe it to him to dump my bf and f*ck him before he moves to school.
I said no, obviously. He freaks out and tries to make me pay him back for all the money he spent on me, which I had never liked in the first place and was always done sneakily, like putting movie tickets on his card before we got to the theater or paying for our food when I was in the bathroom.
He spends like 3 weeks messaging me just really mean, vile sh*t all the time, including some deeply personal stuff he was aware of due to our friendship. It hurts a lot to really regard somebody as a good, close friend and then be dropped like a hot potato when he realizes you still won't put out. He still messages me occasionally, usually to try to hit on me and get pissed that I still love my boyfriend, then complains about being single. Gee motherf*cker, I wonder why?"