There's no denying that "Monster Mash" is one of the best Halloween songs of all time. Every October, countless parties ring with the sound of Bobby "Boris" Pickett's quirky novelty tune about creatures who just want to boogie. But in 2017, the Internet discovered something about "Monster Mash" that will change the way you listen to the classic tale of graveyard shenanigans forever.
Get ready to have your mind blown: you've never heard the monster mash. You’ve only heard a song describing the events of an eerie night where monsters dance to a song called "The Monster Mash."
This revelation started a flurry of funny "Monster Mash" tweets and "Monster Mash" conspiracy theories that have completely upended the world of Halloween novelty songs. When you listen to "Monster Mash" this season, pay close attention to the lyrics. Maybe you'll find the hidden truth that Bobby Pickett wrote into the song.
The Lyrics Describe A Party Full Of Monsters
"I was working in the lab late one night when my beheld an eerie sight..." And so begins perhaps the greatest song ever written.
If you listen to the lyrics of "Monster Mash," you'll realize you're not actually listening to the titular song. You're actually listening to someone describe a dance called "The Monster Mash."
Twitter Uncovered The Shocking Truth
On October 8, 2017, a Twitter user named Lawrence Miles dropped a jack-o-lantern sized bomb about everyone's favorite Halloween novelty tune:
Guys. I'm here to red-pill you all.
You've never heard the actual Monster Mash. You've just heard a record *about* the Monster Mash.Yeah.— Lawrence Miles (@Lawrence_Miles) October 8, 2017
Bobby Pickett is a non-monster recalling an occasion when he heard monsters mashing. At best, his recording is only a rough approximation.— Lawrence Miles (@Lawrence_Miles) October 8, 2017
This is hard information to take in, especially if you're a big fan of The Mash. What have you been listening to for your entire life if it wasn't The Mash? Is everything a lie?
This Changes Everything!
MY WHOLE LIFE WAS NOTHING BUT A LIE! pic.twitter.com/3vjPQbyQt2— KayKay (Kayla) (@KayKay_Singer1) October 10, 2017
How Could The Mash Be A Smash?
Equally, as Bertrand Russell observed if there was no one in the graveyard to hear the sound, could it really be said there was a "smash"?— Mike Shallcross (@Mikey_Health) October 9, 2017