Culture

The Best Old People Jokes 

Jack Napier
Updated June 14, 2019 6.1k votes 4k voters 76.3k views 13 items

List Rules Vote up any funny joke about old folks and age

Growing old – everybody does it. Even though most people see getting older as a total bummer, it's actually totally awesome! Not only do you get to eat dinner early (and at a discount), but you also get to take naps whenever you want and drive like a lunatic…and no one can say anything about it. Well, they can. They can arrest you. Or take away your license. Or both.

Check out this list of funny old people jokes! Even if you’re not on board with the notion that getting old is awesome, you’ll laugh out loud at these super funny old person jokes.

this collection of the funniest old people jokes is some guaranteed knee-slapping fun! These good old people jokes are perfect for the entire family, especially grandma and grandpa. So wake them up from their mid-day nap, explain the Internet to them for the fiftieth time and check out this list of funny old man jokes.

Vote on your favorite joke about the elderly! 
list ordered by
1
Why Do Old People Smile ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
Why Do Old People Smile All The Time?
Because they can't hear a word you're saying! 
2
What Do Old People And H... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What Do Old People And Hockey Players Have In Common?
Neither of them have their own teeth. 
3
What Do You Call Your Gr... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What Do You Call Your Grandma On Speed Dial?
Instagram
4
What's The Worst Part Ab... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What's The Worst Part About Being Grandpa?
Sleeping with grandma
5
What's The Best Thing Ab... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What's The Best Thing About Being 103 Years Old?
No peer pressure. 
6
Why Don't Old People Eat... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
Why Don't Old People Eat Health Food?
They need all the preservatives they can get. 
7
When Is Your Grandpas Be... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
When Is Your Grandpas Bedtime?
Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. 
8
When Do You Know When Yo... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
When Do You Know When Your Grandmother is Old Enough to Retire?
When she stops lying about her age and starts bragging about it!
9
How Do You Know You've H... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
How Do You Know You've Hit Old Age?
When your waistline and your age are the same.
10
What's The Worst Part Ab... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What's The Worst Part About Retiring?
You never get a day off. 
11
What's An Old Person's F... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What's An Old Person's Favorite Song?
Anything on the Weather Channel.
12
What Do Old People And S... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What Do Old People And Sharpei Puppies Have In Common?
They're both covered in wrinkles and they sleep all day. 
13
What's The Best Part Abo... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Old People Jokes
What's The Best Part About Excercising When You Get Older?
You'll die healthy!