Culture
4.2k voters

The Best Old People Jokes

Updated June 14, 2019 6.5k votes 4.2k voters 81.7k views13 items

List RulesVote up any funny joke about old folks and age

Growing old – everybody does it. Even though most people see getting older as a total bummer, it's actually totally awesome! Not only do you get to eat dinner early (and at a discount), but you also get to take naps whenever you want and drive like a lunatic…and no one can say anything about it. Well, they can. They can arrest you. Or take away your license. Or both.

Check out this list of funny old people jokes! Even if you’re not on board with the notion that getting old is awesome, you’ll laugh out loud at these super funny old person jokes.

this collection of the funniest old people jokes is some guaranteed knee-slapping fun! These good old people jokes are perfect for the entire family, especially grandma and grandpa. So wake them up from their mid-day nap, explain the Internet to them for the fiftieth time and check out this list of funny old man jokes.

Vote on your favorite joke about the elderly! 
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  • 1
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    Why Do Old People Smile All The Time?

    Because they can't hear a word you're saying! 
  • 2
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    What's The Best Thing About Being 103 Years Old?

    No peer pressure. 
  • 3
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    What's The Worst Part About Being Grandpa?

    Sleeping with grandma
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    What Do Old People And Hockey Players Have In Common?

    Neither of them have their own teeth. 
  • 5
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    What Do You Call Your Grandma On Speed Dial?

    Instagram
  • 6
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    When Do You Know When Your Grandmother is Old Enough to Retire?

    When she stops lying about her age and starts bragging about it!
  • 7
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    When Is Your Grandpas Bedtime?

    Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. 
  • 8
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    Why Don't Old People Eat Health Food?

    They need all the preservatives they can get. 
  • 9
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    How Do You Know You've Hit Old Age?

    When your waistline and your age are the same.
  • 10
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    What's The Worst Part About Retiring?

    You never get a day off. 
  • 11
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    What's An Old Person's Favorite Song?

    Anything on the Weather Channel.
  • 12
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    What Do Old People And Sharpei Puppies Have In Common?

    They're both covered in wrinkles and they sleep all day. 
  • 13
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    What's The Best Part About Excercising When You Get Older?

    You'll die healthy!