As a former collegiate softball player, I was one of many saddened to see the sport excised from the Olympics in recent years. This, however, is not a list of sports we would really want to see on broadcast TV... as part of the Olympics, anyway. These are the dream competitions; the events Joe Anybody could set a world record in. The events with potential to thrust (or hoist) an overweight man from the middle of Saskatchewan onto the Olympic victors' stand, where he can be decorated in a way befitting of someone who just told that kid on a fixie to get a haircut (and a life).
What event would you add to the Olympics? Would you be a medalist in changing diapers without throwing up? How about a champion in swearing? There are so many things the world should give medals for but doesn't, and this is a chance to right that wrong. On the Internet. With some people you've never met before who may have an unnatural ability to watch TV for 72 straight hours. Seriously: this is the only marathon many people in America could ever even dream of winning.Winter, Summer, indoor, outdoor; if you think there's an event you could OWN (if only it were in the Olympics), make sure to add it to this list of events that should totally be in the Olympics.
Fun Hat Design
Using Grammar Correctly
Dog Paddling (the Swimming Stroke)
Eating Really Spicy Buffalo Wings
Cooking While High
Offending Gordan Ramsay
Going Through Airport Security
Eating Donut Holes
Yelling at Cars in Traffic
Making Up Job Titles So You Sound More Important Than You Really Are
Haggling with Customer Service
Binge Watching Netflix