As a member of the 21st century, you definitely have experienced at least one run in with an aggressive vegan, eager to feed you their opinion with a side of tempeh. If you work in the food industry, vegan horror stories are de rigueur for every day life. Regardless, even those outside of food service still fall victim to insane run-ins with vegans. When someone asked Redditors for their worst vegan horror stories, people put down their steak knives to tell tales of psychotic vegan mothers, friends who lack boundaries, and people who believe milk causes cancer.
Eschewing all meat and animal byproducts is not a bad thing by any means, but chastising people with different dietary preferences than you is. After all, isn't that what you're doing as a vegan? It’s not like a vegan lifestyle automatically turns someone into a good person. In fact, some who adopt this belief tend to act like bigger jerks than everyone else. Maybe it’s the lack of protein. Fry up a pan of bacon and read on as these people tell stories of crazy vegans.
This Vegan Doesn't Even Want To See The Word Bacon
A woman comes into my work planning to get a vegetarian sandwich. On the provided bag (as on every bag) you get the choice to add bacon, which is too much for her to handle. She starts ranting about "how could you even suggest that bacon could go on a vegetarian sandwich? I'm a vegan and bacon is terrible."
The resulting conversation follows:
Her: "You shouldn't be allowed to put bacon on a vegetarian sandwich!"
Me: "Ma'am, we're not going to change our bags just for you."
Her: "I don't like your tone! Get me your manager."
Me: "I'm the closest thing to a manager we have right now." (I'm like, assistant manager and the owner is out of state)
Her: "I don't believe you!" and continues to rant.
Me: "If you think that our bags are so terrible, then you're welcome to leave the store. We don't need your business and we don't need you coming around when there are other customers and disturbing them while they are trying to eat."
Her: "I'm going to get my friends and we're going to boycott this place!"
Me: "Go ahead, ma'am. This is private property and I have every right to force you to leave."
And she storms out angrily, never to be seen here again. I hope she chokes on a carrot."
That's One Way To Get Out Of Class
During school, a classmate is explaining her vegan lifestyle to our class. I ask why do you do it, she responds by asking if I drink milk. I say yes, which sets her off and leads to her saying things like "Don't you know milk actually decreases calcium in your body?" and proceeds to yell for a few minutes before she just storms out the room.
TFW Your Mom Takes You To A Chicken Death Camp
My mom is very health conscious and it eventually led our family to be vegan. When in kindergarten, she was also my teacher and planned a class trip for our 30+ classmates. She excitedly told us how there were going to be chickens there. Cute, feathered chickens.
Shortly after we arrive at the farm we all detect the undeniable stench of death. Unlike what my mom anticipated, this is not an egg farm with adorable chickens in clean, cute cages. It is actually a chicken death factory, all this poultry packed into cages so tight, many of them are dead while others just trample over each other, all just waiting to die.
Needless to say, the entire class (myself included) freaks the f*ck out. Screaming ensues, along with crying. Oh, and vomitng.
My spouse is vegan, and I'm vegan most of the time. But, on the occasions when I eat meat, my spouse treats me differently, getting short, refusing kisses, and acting cold towards me.