Everyone has a secret or two, especially in their teenage years. Unfortunately, parents know everything. Those little secrets you were confident your parents would never find out about? They totally know already, they just never brought it up. Why would they? Nothing but shame can come from asking a teenager about their internet search history or why they sneak off to the bathroom every night at midnight.
When asked what kind of dirt they have on their kids, a bunch of parents took to Reddit to explain the embarrassing knowledge they've can't un-know about their children. Some of these stories are hilarious, others are horrifying, and all are far too embarrassing for a parent to keep to themselves.
From Redditor /u/hippiedawg:
When my son started getting wet dreams, he made a loincloth out of TP and duct tape to wear at night. It looked like a big silver diaper.
From Redditor /u/insaneshayne:
My 14-year-old son has a huge stack of [adult] DVDs hidden behind his Harry Potter collection on his book shelf. Apparently he is really into mature lesbians.
From Redditor /u/bookgirl_72:
I've noticed my son, who is 14, goes into the bathroom every night after his sister goes to bed. I'm pretty sure it's his nightly [self pleasure activity]. I'm not sure why he can't do it in his bedroom, but whatever, it's not like I'm going to ask him about it. But it's like clockwork: I tuck my daughter into bed, retire to my own bedroom, and I hear him go into the bathroom. Every night.
From Redditor /u/Liar_tuck:
One day at 15 he comes home very late from school. He has a sh*t eating grin and avoids eye contact. He immediately takes a shower, something he never did after school. That was the day he lost his virginity. I checked the condoms I kept stored in a drawer in the living room. Yep, some were missing.