• Total Nerd

12 Things Patton Oswalt Correctly Predicted About 'Star Wars' And The MCU

List RulesVote up the most impressively on-the-nose predictions.

Patton Oswalt is known for many talents - actor, comedian, writer, director, author. Perhaps “soothsayer” should be added to the list, because Oswalt has also demonstrated an impressive ability to predict the future - especially in the guise of Parks and Recreation character Garth Blundin, and especially as it pertains to the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Star Wars franchise.

An episode titled “Article Two,” first aired in 2013, tasked Oswalt with an improvised municipal filibuster and gave him precious few directions beyond that. Inspired by Disney’s then-recent acquisition of both Lucasfilm and existing ownership of Marvel Studios, Oswalt launched into an epic one-take eight-minute pitch for the then-just-announced J.J. Abrams Star Wars sequel trilogy off the top of his head, one that wildly crossed over into the MCU - and then well beyond that. The clip was edited down for broadcast, but was then released as a DVD extra in all its glory.

As amazing as the performance was on its own, amid all that rambling, Oswalt also accidentally stumbled into at least a dozen highly accurate predictions about several of the highest-grossing films of the years to come, including some oddly specific plot points. Either that, or he’s some sort of time-traveler. At this point, it's a toss-up.

  • 1
    7 VOTES

    That A Popular ‘Star Wars’ Character Would Survive Dismemberment Via Spider-Robot

    And that’s when Han drops Chewbacca’s severed head onto the floor, yes, in front of all the Padawans... They’re going to build Chewie this really cool robot - I’m thinking, spider-body.

    The idea of a popular Star Wars character surviving a seemingly fatal dismemberment, only to be resuscitated via connection with a spider-like robot body, is either Oswalt’s most oddly specific accurate prediction, or it’s a clever reference to a then-recent Star Wars event.

    In the real canon, it’s not a decapitated Chewbacca who ends up with spider-like appendages, but Darth Maul, who appeared to fall to his demise after being bisected by Obi Wan Kenobi on Naboo. Clinging to life, Maul was dumped alongside a load of garbage on the planet Lotho Minor, and there he used his strength in the Force to assemble a six-legged mechanical lower half for himself.

    The only issue here is that the episode of The Clone Wars in which Maul’s survival was revealed first aired in early 2012 - before “Article Two” was filmed, as evidenced by Oswalt’s mid-rant reference to the end of May 2012’s The Avengers. It’s possible that Oswalt had already seen the Clone Wars episode before filming Parks and Rec, but given his busy schedule, it’s probably more likely that he had not - and instead just made a prescient guess as to how someone might survive the loss of their body parts in the Star Wars universe.

    Great call?
  • 2
    17 VOTES

    That ‘Episode VII’ Would Reveal That Han Solo And Leia Organa Had Broken Up

    And then Luke looks down, and Han’s wedding ring is gone. "Hey, what happened with you and Leia?" And Han’s like, "Don’t even get me started on that."

    Years before Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens hit theaters in 2015, Oswalt had already guessed at one of its biggest status quo changes: that Leia Organa and Han Solo had broken up at some point in the past, and were now living separate lives.

    Oswalt’s proposal does not include any mention of their son, Ben Solo, and does include some spicy details about an affair with Lando Calrissian that never happens - but predicting the break-up of the only ongoing romantic couple in Star Wars canon at the time was still quite the bull's-eye. Unfortunately, Han would perish before fans got the full details of how the split occurred. 

    Great call?
  • 3
    28 VOTES

    Exactly How Boba Fett Would Escape From The Sarlacc, Shot-For-Shot

    Pan down from the twin suns of Tatooine. We are now close on the mouth of the Sarlacc pit, after a beat, the gloved Mandalorian armor gauntlet of Boba Fett grabs onto the sand outside the Sarlacc pit, and the feared bounty hunter pulls himself from the maw of the sand-beast.

    Patton Oswalt predicting that the Star Wars franchise would revive Boba Fett in its newly constructed canon is not overly impressive, as the Mandalorian bounty hunter had already made several post-Sarlacc appearances in the old Expanded Universe. But the sheer accuracy with which Oswalt nailed the actual Sarlacc escape scene is downright prescient. 

    Finally retroactively depicted in 2021’s The Book of Boba Fett, the escape has everything Patton said it would: a pan down from the twin suns, Fett punching his way through the side of the Sarlacc, and that dramatic burst upward through the sun. All he was missing was the subsequent Jawa robbery.

    Great call?
  • 4
    3 VOTES

    The Primary Motivation Of Thanos The Mad Titan

    Thanos is beginning to gather power in this new universe.

    Oswalt describes Thanos as desiring the “Infinity Gems” so that he can complete the Infinity Gauntlet and control all of reality, which doesn’t sound like much of a stretch, because that’s something that the Mad Titan did in the comic books, too. But describing Thanos’s motivation as solely related to the Stones is quite prescient, actually, because of what is not mentioned at the same time: Death.

    In the pages of Marvel Comics, Thanos only ever wanted the Infinity Gauntlet because it would allow him to slay a lot of people at the same time, and thus win the appreciation of his love interest, the literal personification of Death. In the MCU, however, Thanos’s motivations were shifted to center around control of the Infinity Stones themselves as a means to greater power and control.

    Guessing that Thanos would collect Infinity Stones? That’s easy.

    Guessing that he would do so for some reason other than a desire to win Death’s love? That’s something special.

    Great call?