Mike the Coffeehouse Guy
"I knew a guy named Mike who ran a coffeehouse. It was a pretty hip place, kinda beatnik, live music, poetry readings, open mic nights. But something about him was just a little bit off. He stared at you too long when making eye contact, girls all hated him and were completely creeped out by him. He had long hair, a beard, and drove a van. Just kinda generally creepy.
"His favorite jokes were of the 'Whatcha doing later, Mike?' 'Cutting up hookers and shoving them in dumpsters' vein of humor.
"After about a year, he sold the coffeehouse to a friend, and I ended up managing it. Business picked up pretty quick after word got out that Mike wasn't around anymore. The place was really starting to turn a profit, everything was going great. Then he started hanging out every now and then, and being extra creepy. Leering at teenage girls, and just kinda being generally inappropriate. I asked him not to come back, and it got kinda ugly.
"Fast forward about four years, and I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV. The local news comes on, and his face pops up on screen. He had been arrested for raping and torturing three separate women. He was found behind a shopping center with a woman shackled in the back of his van, and he had been driving around all night tazering and raping her. He's currently serving three consecutive life sentences."Creepy or not?
Amateur Photographer"A guy I briefly dated in high school. At first I thought he was awkward and charming. But then I visited his bedroom and there were pictures of me sleeping attached to his ceiling."Creepy or not?
Shane the Creep, and Bonus Brother Creep
"I was 13, hanging out with my friends all day, every day. At some point, this guy started hanging out with us. I don't know who he was friends with first, or where he came from - one day he was just there. His name was Shane. Shane looked a lot like David Schwimmer...if David Schwimmer had more acne than bare skin... and was the product of generations of inbreeding. Shane said he was 16. Shane started hitting on me pretty heavily. It got to the point where I couldn't hang out with my friends, because he was constantly there, and constantly saying gross things to me (telling dirty jokes about himself or describing himself sexually). What's worse, my friends kept trying to get me to accept his advances, because it wasn't like anyone else was interested in me :("
Then he became friends with my brother, and would come over to our apartment frequently. One night, I came home to find him sitting on our couch next to my mom. She said he'd said he was a friend of mine, and she was showing him baby pictures of me, class projects, etc.
So... it actually just stopped about as suddenly as it started. He just disappeared one day. That is when I found out that when he would be in our apartment with my brother, he would mostly ask my brother about me, and my brother frequently let him into my room. He went through all my papers, looking for some mention of him, apparently. He also broke into a locked book he thought was a diary.
Also, he was not actually 16. He told my brother he was 19. Right before he left, he changed the number again - to 26."Creepy or not?
"A creepy guy who works at my local Walmart was sitting and talking to me one day (I worked there too, at the time). He felt the need to confide in me that at one point in his youth he went to the house of his crush, crawled in her open window, and hid under her bed before she came home for the night. He stayed there until she came home, changed, and had fallen asleep. He just slipped right back out the window and into the night.
"My box spring has been on the floor ever since."Creepy or not?