Cringeworthy Thanksgiving Day Family Stories  

Samantha Dillinger
8.6k votes 1.8k voters 72.9k views 20 items

List Rules Vote up the Thanksgiving stories that left YOU feeling embarrassed.

One of the most important American meals, Thanksgiving, doesn't always go according to plan. Relatives ruining Thanksgiving meals happens in more than just sitcoms - more often than not, it happens at your own dinner table, where things are anything but gravy. Plenty of Redditors shared their most awkward Thanksgiving dinners from years past, whe relatives misspoke, the food actually started fights, and maybe guests broke a law or two. 

Though maybe not as monumental as other Thanksgiving fails, these cringeworthy Thanksgiving stories will stick with you longer than grandma's mashed potatoes. The pilgrims should be thankful their Thanksgivings lacked these issues.

Breasts For Dinner

From Redditor /u/NineBeanSalad:

So my cousin, who was always a bit weird, got breast implants. We show up at a family gathering and she brings it up, and my dad politely asks how she's recovering. She proceeds to unzip her hoodie and just bares all in front of my dad, who reacts like someone just threw something at his face. My mom and I are just agape in horror and my dad is stuttering and is just mortified. There are people everywhere and she goes, "Do you want to touch them? They feel so real!" 

I'll never forget the look of terror on my poor dad's face.

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Polly Wants A Witness

From Redditor /u/ImVerySerious:

In the 1990s. Having the neighbors over for Thanksgiving dinner. Everything is going wonderfully and the conversation turns to Thanksgivings past when the neighbor lady says, "Thanksgivings are always a little sad for me now. It was on Thanksgiving that I found my pet parrot of 20 years dead in his cage."

We all sympathize and I ask, "How did he die? Was it old age?" And she says she didn't know. "He was a young healthy bird who was his active, talkative self just the night before."

Then her adult son, from across the table says, "He died because he was poisoned." The mom says, "What?!" While calmly eating his dinner, he says, "F*cking thing wouldn't shut up that night, so I poured some insecticide or something into his water dish."

There are probably 16 people at the table just slack-jawed. The mom bursts into tears and runs out of the house and the son just sits there like nothing at all happened. It still comes up every year.

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You Should Cut This Aunt Off

From Redditor /u/planification:

I had trouble pronouncing the letters L and R as a kid. Apparently, my tongue is larger than normal. So sitting around the living room after Thanksgiving dinner when I was five, around 1990, I overheard my aunt talking with another family member about my lisp: "They should just take him in and have his tongue clipped. That's what I'd do if it were my kids." The conversation eventually switched to my wheelchair-bound older brother. Sure enough, my aunt had another opinion: "I don't see why they don't just put him in a home."

Fast forward 20 years, and she's still at it. Two years ago at Christmas, she bought matching princess pajamas for my two female cousins, "Katie" (10) and "Emma" (8). Katie has been a bigger girl since she was born. She goes out for sports, and her parents watch what she eats, but so far nothing has worked. Anyway, Katie opened up the box of pajamas with excitement in her eyes. She tried to put on the pajamas, and they didn't fit. Everyone carries on the conversation until my aunt commented from across the room, "Katie, those are for your sister. You'd have to do a few more sit-ups before they would fit."

A unanimous death-stare fell onto my aunt. Katie's mom (also my aunt) pulled her into another room to make sure she was okay. Everyone else in the room forced some small talk to avoid a scene and the gift unwrapping continued, as if nothing happened.

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You're No Longer Excused

From Redditor /u/SirFuzzyLogik666:

The most awkward family dinner that I've ever had was two years ago at my grandpa's house. It was a nice Thanksgiving day and everyone was waiting for the food to be done. When the food was done, we all sat down and began our meal. I didn't really say anything for the most part. But for some reason I had this constant hard-on that I just couldn't get rid of. So I just stood up, took my phone from the middle of the table and took off for the bathroom. After I pleased myself... I returned to the kitchen.

To my surprise, everyone was staring at me almost horror-like. I asked everyone what was up but no one said anything. No one talked the rest of the dinner. I kinda knew what happened. I found out later that I was making a little to much noise in the bathroom. I actually looked at my phone and realized the volume was up 65%! And to make thing worse... let's just say I didn't do too good of a job cleaning up.

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