Pump up the Pretty Little Liars theme music, because today we're reading all about the secrets people are taking to the grave. Folks over at Reddit have been spilling true stories of unshared secrets and they range from pretty damn dark to somewhat comical. These threads cover the gamut - everything from interfamilial relationships to infidelity to cheating on a test.
Some of these secrets get downright creepy. After all, people share their darkest secrets under the anonymity of the Internet. One can't help but wonder what secrets you'd take to the grave and how they measure up to these sordid confessions.
There's Having An Embarrassing Dad, And Then There's Having A Nazi Dad
"My dad's a National Socialist and he regularly goes to meetings, I was raised on Germanic folklore and the idea that I'm superior to others because I'm of German decent. I have plenty of Jewish and Slavish friends and I just tell them my dad died when I was younger […] my dad's a Nazi"
Cheaters Do Sometimes Prosper
"There was a math competition/test in grade 8, and this was to actually decide who got the math award at graduation […] There was about 15 of us in a computer lab, all spaced apart, the test was done on a math program […] it was some long a*s weird word problem that was actually meant to confuse us. Well while the teacher was explaining the test I was clicking through one of the network drives and I found a folder that said Final.Test.William (my name is William). I was like "That's really weird I don't remember making this?" so I opened it up, and BOOM! it had the answer for our competition.
So I quickly copy and pasted it onto Word so no can see, and then once we started I minimized Word into the corner and re-wrote out the answer in my own words […] then I told the teach I was done. He came over and was amazed how fast I completed the test.
Graduation comes and I receive the math award and the teacher explains how amazed he was how fast I had completed the test in record time. I found out that day the teacher's name was also William."
A Different Kind Of Hotboxing
"In the car ride home the other day from a family vacation, my date offered to drive the 9 hours home since I drove us there. I had fallen asleep but woke up abruptly when I farted. Loudly. And it stunk. I had been sleeping with his jacket over my head so I pretended to be asleep.
As I was drifting back to sleep I farted again. Just as loud. Just as smelly. I continued to pretend to be asleep, though I heard him stifle giggles.
I'll never tell him I was awake the whole time."
Lying About Losing Your Virginity
"Probably the fact that I lost my virginity at 24 and not 18. At that point I knew it wasn't going to be magical […] but I had this thought that I needed to get this done. I met a girl online and she took a liking to me. She hung out at my place for the second date and of course things happened. I did it in a very pragmatic and clinical way. My mind went 'Lick here, stick this here.'
She did mention how bad I was but I played it off as me being rusty."