Jokes The Best Pirate Jokes  

Jack Napier
3.5k votes 1.2k voters 20.7k views 22 items

List Rules Vote up any silly pirate joke that makes you go "har harrr haaarrghhh"

Avast ye scurvy currs and walk the plank! But not before ye be readin’ this list of the funny pirate jokes from the across the seven seas of the Internet. The pirate jokes on this list are fun for the most dreaded of pirates and lily livered land lubbers alike (try saying that three times fast), so don’t ye worry if you’ve never set foot on a boat (or if you’ve only been on a schooner), you’ll be laughin’ all the way to Davy Jones’ Locker! If ye can read, start scrolling down and vote on any silly pirate joke that makes you go "har harrr haaarrghhh!"

YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF FUN! Before you try out any of these jokes on the old salts you know, you’ll want to batten down the hatches because the laughter from your buccaneer buddies will start a typhoon that’ll scuttle your ship down to the briny deep. If ye be ready for some hilarious pirate jokes, weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen, then let’s get three sheets to the wind on laughter. Enjoy these pirate jokes, because if there isnt' any laughter from up in the crow’s nest about these hilarious pirate jokes there'll be a hangin' from the yard arm.

1
153 97
What Did The Pirate Say When H... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Did The Pirate Say When His Wooden Leg Got Stuck In The Freezer? Shiver me timbers!

2
173 120
Why Does It Take Pirates So Lo... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Does It Take Pirates So Long To Learn The Alphabet? Because they can spend years at C.  

3
240 180
What's A Horny Pirate's Worst ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What's A Horny Pirate's Worst Nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty!

4
156 107
Why Is Pirating Addictive? is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Is Pirating Addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

5
163 114
What Kind Of Grades Did The Pi... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Kind Of Grades Did The Pirate Get In School? HIGH SEAS!

6
118 77
What Do Pirates And Pimps Have... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Do Pirates And Pimps Have In Common? They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

7
122 81
What Is Captain Hook's Favorit... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Is Captain Hook's Favorite Store? The second hand store.

8
109 75
How Do Pirates Know They're Pi... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
How Do Pirates Know They're Pirates? They think, therefore they AAAARRRRRRR!!!!!

9
89 65
What Do Pirates Use Telephones... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Do Pirates Use Telephones For? Booty calls!

10
66 47
What's The Difference Between ... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What's The Difference Between a Hungry Pirate And A Drunk Pirate? One's a rumbling tummy, and the other's a tumbling rummy!

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61 44
Why Do Pirates Always Fail Whe... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Do Pirates Always Fail When They're Saying Their Alphabet? Because they insist there are 7 Seas!

12
72 59
Why Don't Pirates Go To Strip ... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Don't Pirates Go To Strip Clubs? They already have all the booty!

13
53 40
What Has 8 Eyes, 8 Arms, &... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Has 8 Eyes, 8 Arms, & 8 Legs Four rookie pirates!

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55 45
What Are The 10 Letters In The... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What Are The 10 Letters In The Pirate Alphabet? I, I, R, and the 7 Cs.

15
48 57
Why Did The Pirate Have Red Ey... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Did The Pirate Have Red Eyes? Because he had too much sea-weed!

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How Does A Pirate Feel About H... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
How Does A Pirate Feel About His Wife? Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's wife for me!

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What's A Pirate's Favorite Kin... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What's A Pirate's Favorite Kind Of Fish? A GOLDfish

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What's The Next Pirate Interne... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What's The Next Pirate Internet Sensation? Planking!

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34 56
Why Did The Pirate Give Up Gol... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Did The Pirate Give Up Golf? He kept hooking the ball!

20
36 63
How Does A Pirate Clean His Ho... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
How Does A Pirate Clean His House? He has a yAAAAARRRRRd sale!

21
39 80
Why Was The Pirate Shivering H... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
Why Was The Pirate Shivering His Timbers? PARRRkinson's!

22
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What's A Pirate's Favorite Son... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Pirate Jokes
What's A Pirate's Favorite Song? Gang-Plank Style!