• Culture

The Best Pirate Jokes

List RulesVote up any silly pirate joke that makes you go "har harrr haaarrghhh"

Avast ye scurvy currs and walk the plank! But not before ye be readin’ this list of the funny pirate jokes from the across the seven seas of the Internet. The pirate jokes on this list are fun for the most dreaded of pirates and lily livered land lubbers alike (try saying that three times fast), so don’t ye worry if you’ve never set foot on a boat (or if you’ve only been on a schooner), you’ll be laughin’ all the way to Davy Jones’ Locker! If ye can read, start scrolling down and vote on any silly pirate joke that makes you go "har harrr haaarrghhh!"

YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF FUN! Before you try out any of these jokes on the old salts you know, you’ll want to batten down the hatches because the laughter from your buccaneer buddies will start a typhoon that’ll scuttle your ship down to the briny deep. If ye be ready for some hilarious pirate jokes, weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen, then let’s get three sheets to the wind on laughter. Enjoy these pirate jokes, because if there isnt' any laughter from up in the crow’s nest about these hilarious pirate jokes there'll be a hangin' from the yard arm.
  • 1
    340
    214

    What Kind Of Grades Did The Pirate Get In School?

    HIGH SEAS!
  • 2
    361
    233

    What Is Captain Hook's Favorite Store?

    The second hand store.
  • 3
    293
    185

    Why Does It Take Pirates So Long To Learn The Alphabet?

    Because they can spend years at C.
     
  • 4
    379
    268

    What's A Horny Pirate's Worst Nightmare?

    A sunken chest with no booty!
  • 5
    260
    173

    Why Is Pirating Addictive?

    They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
  • 6
    190
    131

    How Do Pirates Know They're Pirates?

    They think, therefore they AAAARRRRRRR!!!!!
  • 7
    201
    149

    What Do Pirates And Pimps Have In Common?

    They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!
  • 8
    122
    83

    Why Do Pirates Always Fail When They're Saying Their Alphabet?

    Because they insist there are 7 Seas!
  • 9
    269
    226

    What Did The Pirate Say When His Wooden Leg Got Stuck In The Freezer?

    Shiver me timbers!
  • 10
    140
    126

    What Do Pirates Use Telephones For?

    Booty calls!
  • 11
    108
    93

    What's The Difference Between a Hungry Pirate And A Drunk Pirate?

    One's a rumbling tummy, and the other's a tumbling rummy!
  • 12
    106
    94

    What Are The 10 Letters In The Pirate Alphabet?

    I, I, R, and the 7 Cs.
  • 13
    102
    102

    Why Don't Pirates Go To Strip Clubs?

    They already have all the booty!
  • 14
    91
    89

    What Has 8 Eyes, 8 Arms, & 8 Legs

    Four rookie pirates!
  • 15
    86
    106

    Why Did The Pirate Have Red Eyes?

    Because he had too much sea-weed!
  • 16
    79
    100

    What's A Pirate's Favorite Kind Of Fish?

    A GOLDfish
  • 17
    77
    100

    How Does A Pirate Feel About His Wife?

    Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's wife for me!
  • 18
    66
    97

    Why Did The Pirate Give Up Golf?

    He kept hooking the ball!
  • 19
    57
    95

    What's The Next Pirate Internet Sensation?

    Planking!
  • 20
    71
    132

    Why Was The Pirate Shivering His Timbers?

    PARRRkinson's!
  • 21
    52
    111

    How Does A Pirate Clean His House?

    He has a yAAAAARRRRRd sale!
  • 22
    36
    144

    What's A Pirate's Favorite Song?

    Gang-Plank Style!