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306 voters

The Best Plumber Jokes

Updated February 6, 2019 587 votes 306 voters 7.9k views20 items

List RulesVote up the plumber jokes that are sure to set you leaking tears of laughter.

Plumbers have a tough job. We don't mean to make plumbers the butt of all these jokes, but it only makes sense to crack a smile after spending the day looking at other people's waste. The next time you need your toilet fixed, tell some of these funny plumber jokes, and you may just get a better estimate. 

If you need a plumber, then chances are high you are in a bad mood and feel completely drained. You may not be able to take a hot shower first thing in the morning. Instead of getting crisp, clean water out of the sink, you get something that resembles mud. When these moments happen, it is important to look at the bright side of life. Hire a plumber to fix your piping while you get on your phone and laptop and read through these hilarious plumbing jokes. Whatever your problem is, you will see it is not so bad with these silly jokes and puns

Even if you have never picked up a plunger in your life, you will still get a kick out of this list. Once you have read through them all, make sure to vote on your favorite jokes for plumbers.

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  • 1

    Why Should You Never Play Poker With a Plumber?

    27
    23

    A good flush beats a full house.

  • 2

    Dad Called the Plumber for a Faucet Install...

    16
    11

    He couldn't get a handle on it.

  • 3

    Why Was the Plumber Depressed?

    24
    27

    His career went down the toilet.

  • 4

    What is a Plumber's Favorite Vegetable?

    16
    17

    Leeks!

  • 5

    How Does a Plumber Make Money in a Casino?

    27
    32

    Playing craps. 

  • 6

    Did You Hear About the Toilet Joke Making Headlines?

    10
    10

    Nevermind, it's too dirty.

  • 7

    What Is One Thing You Will Never See a Plumber Do?

    12
    13

    Bite his nails.

  • 8

    How Many Plumbers Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

    6
    5

    1. Just call an electrician. Plumbers don’t screw around with light bulbs.

  • 9

    Don't You Hate It When You Call a Plumber...

    5
    5

    And all he does is eat mushrooms and jump on your turtles?

  • 10

    How Can You Tell the Difference Between a Plumber and a Chemist?

    19
    26

    Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

  • 11

    What Do Plumbers Have When They Fall Asleep?

    41
    59

    Pipe dreams!

  • 12

    Did You Hear That Someone Broke Into the Police Station and Stole All The Toilets?

    10
    13

    Right now the cops have nothing to go on. 

  • 13

    How Are Plumbers Different From Doctors?

    5
    6

    Doctors wash their hands after going to the bathroom, and plumbers wash their hands before going to the bathroom.

  • 14

    Why Do Plumbers Fall Asleep at Work?

    7
    9

    Their job is draining!

  • 15

    What Makes a Plumber Smile Any Time of Day?

    7
    10

    Overtime pay.

  • 16

    What Did the Plumber Find in Superman's Bathroom?

    4
    6

    A Superbowl!

  • 17

    Why Do Plumbers Wear Yellow Suspenders?

    5
    9

    To keep their pants up.

  • 18

    What Do Plumbers Say to Their Customers?

    8
    13

    Every time you flush you put food in my family's mouths.

  • 19

    Why Did the Plumber Retire Early?

    8
    14

    He was flushed with success!

  • 20

    How Are Plumbers and Body Builders Similar?

    2
    7

    They both love pumping iron.