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The Best Plumber Jokes

Updated February 6, 2019 477 votes 228 voters 5.5k views20 items

List RulesVote up the plumber jokes that are sure to set you leaking tears of laughter.

Plumbers have a tough job. We don't mean to make plumbers the butt of all these jokes, but it only makes sense to crack a smile after spending the day looking at other people's waste. The next time you need your toilet fixed, tell some of these funny plumber jokes, and you may just get a better estimate. 

If you need a plumber, then chances are high you are in a bad mood and feel completely drained. You may not be able to take a hot shower first thing in the morning. Instead of getting crisp, clean water out of the sink, you get something that resembles mud. When these moments happen, it is important to look at the bright side of life. Hire a plumber to fix your piping while you get on your phone and laptop and read through these hilarious plumbing jokes. Whatever your problem is, you will see it is not so bad with these silly jokes and puns

Even if you have never picked up a plunger in your life, you will still get a kick out of this list. Once you have read through them all, make sure to vote on your favorite jokes for plumbers.

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  • 1
    Why Was the Plumber Depressed? is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    22
    15

    Why Was the Plumber Depressed?

    His career went down the toilet.

  • 2
    Why Should You Never Play Poke is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    17
    15

    Why Should You Never Play Poker With a Plumber?

    A good flush beats a full house.

  • 3
    How Does a Plumber Make Money  is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    21
    21

    How Does a Plumber Make Money in a Casino?

    Playing craps. 

  • 4
    What Do Plumbers Have When The is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    48
    60

    What Do Plumbers Have When They Fall Asleep?

    Pipe dreams!

  • 5
    Why Did the Plumber Retire Ear is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    10
    9

    Why Did the Plumber Retire Early?

    He was flushed with success!

  • 6
    Dad Called the Plumber for a F is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    9
    8

    Dad Called the Plumber for a Faucet Install...

    He couldn't get a handle on it.

  • 7
    How Can You Tell the Differenc is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    21
    24

    How Can You Tell the Difference Between a Plumber and a Chemist?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

  • 8
    Did You Hear That Someone Brok is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    8
    7

    Did You Hear That Someone Broke Into the Police Station and Stole All The Toilets?

    Right now the cops have nothing to go on. 

  • 9
    Did You Hear About the Toilet  is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    8
    9

    Did You Hear About the Toilet Joke Making Headlines?

    Nevermind, it's too dirty.

  • 10
    What is a Plumber's Favorite V is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    13
    17

    What is a Plumber's Favorite Vegetable?

    Leeks!

  • 11
    What Did the Plumber Find in S is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    4
    5

    What Did the Plumber Find in Superman's Bathroom?

    A Superbowl!

  • 12
    Why Do Plumbers Fall Asleep at is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    6
    9

    Why Do Plumbers Fall Asleep at Work?

    Their job is draining!

  • 13
    What Is One Thing You Will Nev is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    6
    9

    What Is One Thing You Will Never See a Plumber Do?

    Bite his nails.

  • 14
    How Are Plumbers Different Fro is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    2
    4

    How Are Plumbers Different From Doctors?

    Doctors wash their hands after going to the bathroom, and plumbers wash their hands before going to the bathroom.

  • 15
    Don't You Hate It When You Cal is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    2
    4

    Don't You Hate It When You Call a Plumber...

    And all he does is eat mushrooms and jump on your turtles?

  • 16
    What Do Plumbers Say to Their  is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    8
    12

    What Do Plumbers Say to Their Customers?

    Every time you flush you put food in my family's mouths.

  • 17
    What Makes a Plumber Smile Any is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    6
    10

    What Makes a Plumber Smile Any Time of Day?

    Overtime pay.

  • 18
    How Many Plumbers Does It Take is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    2
    5

    How Many Plumbers Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

    1. Just call an electrician. Plumbers don’t screw around with light bulbs.

  • 19
    How Are Plumbers and Body Buil is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    2
    5

    How Are Plumbers and Body Builders Similar?

    They both love pumping iron.

  • 20
    Why Do Plumbers Wear Yellow Su is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Plumber Jokes
    5
    9

    Why Do Plumbers Wear Yellow Suspenders?

    To keep their pants up.

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