The plastic gods above know that, in the pursuit of the all-powerful dollar, toy companies have come up with some oddball action figures in their time. Almost every successful toy line reaches that point of over-saturation and cranks out some of your favorite heroes in get-ups you never asked for. Ranker has collected many of these abominations in this list of inexplicable action figures.
Sure, every major character from your youth got a lame variation - everyone from He-Man, to Batman, even the Ninja Turtles outlived their merchandising lines and the people behind them had to come up with something. Other times, well, toys just started out bad. It's hard to imagine the people even wanted some of these when they originally came out.
So go through that old box in the attic and maybe throw some of these out.
What's more embarrassing than having the buy an accessory separately? When it's just a mangled cow torso for your Rocky-figure to hit.
We all had that well meaning relative that got us 'educational' toys when we were kids. Well, creepy ole' Uncle Todd McFarlane has us covered with this (probably) historically-inaccurate portrayal of Elizabeth of Bathory. Hey, on some of them you could see her nipple, so there's an anatomy lesson that goes with it!
Thanks, Uncle Todd!
Is there a beloved franchise that Todd McFarlane's toy company didn't try and perv-up? Feast your eyes on Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. RIP Innocence.
Samba The Dying African
I can't make a joke about this, so just avert your eyes and pray for a better future.