15 Questions To Ask Before You Get Married, According To Married People

List Rules
Married people: vote up the questions you think all couples need to ask each other.

Attention couples! You might be living the dream but before you take things to the next level, there are some things you should consider. These married Redditors are sharing the questions to ask your partner before officially tying the knot. If you're curious about what to ask before getting married, then keep reading!


  • 1
    822 VOTES

    "Do You Want Kids?"

    From Redditor u/malackey:

    Do you want kids? Be BRUTALLY honest about your answer. If you can't live without having a couple of rugrats, and your partner gets queasy at the mention of babies, you need to get that out in the open before you get hitched. This is something you simply can't compromise on and is also something you should not try to change your partner's mind about. I watched a couple of friends go from 'cool married couple I wanna be like' to 'people that can't share the same area code' pretty much overnight when they got pregnant. She wanted kids, he didn't, she decided to go off the pill without telling him...and their relationship dissolved pretty soon after she announced she was expecting. He's a totally not at all involved non-parent who pays his support but has repeatedly refused any custody arrangement that would force him to spend time with his son. She's WAY bitter about how things turned out. I think they're both *ssholes.

  • 2
    565 VOTES

    "What Does Your Debt Situation Look Like?"

    From Redditor u/Paleomedicine:

    Debt. This should be discussed even before the wedding. Knowing the amount of debt you both have will allow you to create a realistic budget for your wedding. I'm not saying you have to be extremely cheap, but you don't need to spend hundreds of dollars on the "save the dates".

  • 3
    595 VOTES

    "How Are We Handling Our Money?"

    From Redditor u/malackey:

    How are we handling OUR money? Living with someone presents a bunch of money problems you didn't even KNOW existed. Like, how are you splitting the bills? Which bills should be 'shared' and which bills should remain the exclusive responsibility of each partner? What kind of lifestyle are you expecting to maintain? How much can each of us reasonably contribute to our living expenses?

  • 4
    634 VOTES

    "What's Your Approach To Arguing?"

    From Redditor u/Kolemawny:

    Something my mom made me swear to her:

    Never get married to someone until you've had a big, ugly, difficult, fight with them. People deal with anger and frustration very differently, and someone who you think is really sweet, can end up being really cruel and hurtful when it comes to them not winning an argument, being embarrassed, or being upset. My mom hates the way my dad fights, because of the way his sibling's fighting went, it didn't matter if you are right or wrong, as long as you won. She flat out told me that if she had known, she wouldn't have married him.

  • 5
    555 VOTES

    "How Much Do You Intend On Maintaining Your Individuality?"

    From Redditor u/jdoe74:

    Kinda weird, but something that I have not seen mentioned was having a discussion of how much you intend on maintaining your individuality.

    My wife and I like to go on trips/do stuff with just our friends, and we like to go on trips together. We have married friends that can't ever seem to get permission to do anything.

  • 6
    528 VOTES

    "What Is Your Stance On Infidelity?"

    From a former Redditor:

    "What is your stance on infidelity, and what do you consider infidelity?"

    The first husband claimed cheating would end the marriage. Then he cheated and legitimately didn't understand why I wanted out of the marriage.

    Now to defining: Some people think cheating is kissing. Some people believe getting too close to someone else is cheating, even if it's family.

    There are those who believe going to clubs is cheating. Bottom line is, everyone has different limits. Establish the boundaries, before getting into a marriage.