Benjamin Franklin famously said, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." But when it comes to the worst houseguests ever, the timeframe can be far less than three days. Just check out the proliferation of Reddit stories about horrible guests. It's mind-boggling how quickly and fantastically a well-intentioned invitation can become a living nightmare.
There are a variety of reasons for such abhorrent behavior. Drinking plays a role in many tales of houseguest woe; who, after all, wants a drunken visitor stumbling around their home? When family comes to stay, there are of course all manner of dysfunctional dynamics than can present themselves. But in most instances, it's a baffling lack of courtesy and civility on the part of the reeking houseguest – there's just no other way to explain how some people choose to behave when invited into someone else's space, much like awful hotel guests who leave the room looking like something straight out of a Saw movie.
This Houseguest Left An Unwanted Gift
From Redditor /u/PhantomDrvr:
Back in my bachelor days, my buddy and I decided to hit the nightlife in some bars in Austin. I was never a big drinker and had a few beers over the course of the evening. He was drinking vodka all night like it was water. Needless to say, he was in no condition to drive across town to his place, so I told him he could just crash at mine.
Sunday morning and I'm getting ready for church. Knock on the door and ask if he's okay. Told him he could sleep in while I'm gone if he wants to, but he just says he's got to get going and quickly leaves. Get back from church a few hours later and the entire apartment smells like sh*t. Sniff out the source in the guest bed. Evidently, the f*cker had woken up during the middle of the night and evacuated a beagle-sized turd into my sheets, rolled [it] up [in the sheets], and then continued sleeping the rest of the night in the same bed he had befouled. The real WTF – other than sleeping all night next to a rolled-up sheet with your own monstrous deuce in it – is that he could have just stayed after I left, cleaned up, and I would have probably never known. F*ck you, Warren.
She Played A "Prank" On The Homeowner's Kitten
From Redditor /u/WyldBlu:
Had a "friend" staying with us for a while. She was trying to get back on her feet. I had just adopted a new kitten, about 10 weeks old. One day, I am standing in the kitchen, talking with said "friend," when I hear my new kitty meowing, loudly, but sounds kind of muffled. I proceed to start looking around for her. She sounded distressed. Said "friend" just stands there, with a kind of crooked smile. So, I asked her where the kitten was. She said she had no idea. The meows are getting less and less, and I am walking all over the place, waiting for the next meow to lead me to her.
She. Was. In. The. Freezer. WTF? I pretty much screamed at the psycho, and upon retrieving my shivering, confused, and miserable kitten, [said] "WTF did you do???" She smiled and said, "I thought you knew, cats love to be cold!" I told her, well, that's just great, and since she claimed to love and understand cats so much, she will appreciate how cold she would be tonight... on the street... out of my house. I told her she had about 10 min to get her sh*t and get out or not only would she be getting an ass-kicking, I would be calling the police regarding her cruelty to animals. She left. Kitty survived to be 18 years old.
She Brushed Her Dog With The Homeowner's Hairbrush
From Redditor /u/Wienerwrld:
I lived in a small house, so my dressing table was a table and wall mirror near the front door. One day we had people over while it was raining, and my husband’s cousin came in, picked up my hairbrush from the hall table, and brushed her wet dog with it.
These Guests Decided To Redecorate
From Redditor /u/Back2Bach:
While we were out, houseguests staying with us rearranged our furniture and artwork according to their own taste.