Nothing is scarier than being in a relationship. Here are some stories from this Halloween that made us think twice about getting cuffed this fall.
- 1198 VOTES
Their Boyfriend's Co-Worker Wants To Get Matching Halloween Costumes
From Redditor u/Own_Track3732:
I (29F) have been with my partner (28M) for eight years. We have been struggling in our relationship for a few months now, and there has been infidelity in the past (the last time I KNOW of was 2016). He works retail right now and works directly with one woman, we'll call Emily. She is 32F with a long-term partner and young children.
This all started a few months ago; when he had COVID and was out for a week, she was texting and updating him on work and said, “I'll be happy to see you when you're back!” Since then, they talk almost every day including their days off. A lot of the messages have to do with work; however, there are occasionally some that stand out to me. One of which she was complaining about their co-workers and said, "Sorry I'm being bi***y today," and he replied back, “No you're not. You're one of the nicest people I know, even on your worst day.” I have also seen a message with an older woman they work with saying to him, “Emily says hi and she misses you!” When he was away for a work trip for a week, she messaged him multiple times to see how everything was going and talk about how her days were going there. Their latest messages are about matching Halloween costumes. For work they are planning on dressing up for Halloween and she was sending him matching costumes for them to wear together, which he seemed very excited about. He's bought her coffee and lied to me about it, and also went in on one of his days off to "help her at the store" because she asked and told him she'd buy him a coffee if he came in.
I am aware it is normal for men to have women friends, but this one just gives me a gut feeling. The type of gut feeling I had the times he was cheating. I've talked to him about my worries with her in the past and he told me he would keep it more professional, but it's actually gotten more unprofessional since that conversation. He no longer lets me look at his phone. He lied last night about how much he talked with her yesterday. (He said they exchanged two to three messages, but there are at least 10 each throughout the day.) He hasn't made any plans for Halloween with me, but is with her and is happy about it. He's lying to me about things regarding her (buying coffees, amounts they are messaging each other). Their texts are long, have exclamation marks, “hahahahas,” "aw's," “emojis.” Meanwhile our texts to each other are as such: seven total texts from me since September 16, hearts, telling him I hope he has a great day, etc. Meanwhile I have ONE message from him since September 16 and all it says is, “I'm here.”
Another reason this bothers me is because the other women he works with, he's talked with me about before. I know their names, and regardless of age I feel comfortable. But I had never heard him speak about Emily until I brought her up myself. Which is surprising considering she's the nicest person he's ever met.
We had a big discussion last night on his past infidelity and why I'm having a hard time trusting him currently with this situation. It started off as a constructive conversation about the past women where he was able to clearly communicate, be calm, give reasons, answer my questions. As soon as we started talking about Emily his entire demeanor and facial expression changed. He started getting snippy, sarcastic, asking questions to my questions, getting defensive, and tapping his foot. At one point all I did was look at his foot and he yelled, “Oh sorry is my foot tapping bothering you!?”
…[A]fter I asked him how many times he messaged her yesterday, he said sarcastically, “Hmm I'm not sure... I'm just so forgetful.” I feel like I'm going crazy. I begged and cried, asking him to please just tell me the truth and that it won't change anything - I just need to know - and he's denied everything. He said he's never done anything with her, they don't even eat lunch together, and they've never spent any time together outside of work. He says the reason he doesn't talk to me about her is because he knew I would be this way (yet I haven't been that way with any of his other female co-workers, even the ones our age/younger).
I feel like I'm being paranoid and making mountains out of molehills. I have to admit I am jealous of her because she's getting all of this attention; meanwhile, he doesn't wish me a good day, ask me about my day. When he gets home I ask him about work and he says, "It was sh***y and I want to leave work at work," and then sits one the couch not talking to me until he goes to bed. I feel alone. And I feel like no matter how hard I try to reach out and reconnect and fix things it's like I'm talking to a brick wall.
Does anyone have insight on this? Do you think I'm being crazy? Do you think my gut is right?
- 2120 VOTES
Their Boyfriend Doesn't Want To Make Plans For Halloween
From Redditor u/Constant_Swimmer_875:
My BF (23) of two years is in school and is also kind of a homebody. I (21) am conflicted because I like doing things and having fun and experiencing things (especially holidays), but when it comes to the day I feel like my BF will just do nothing if he doesn’t have people around. So then I also end up doing nothing when I could’ve just gone out with my friends. He also doesn’t love hanging out with my friends and going out with them because they’re a little more wild than him.
My perspective is that… I missed out on the last year and a half of my life as a nonworking adult and I want to actually experience life now, not just sit at home.
My question is would it be wrong of me to tell my BF if we don’t have plans and he doesn’t want to do anything this Halloween, that I’m going to spend it with my friends?
- 3130 VOTES
Their Boyfriend Is Hurt That Their Ex Got Their Daughter A Costume
From Redditor u/Witty-comment-:
The bf and I have been together four years. I have two kids: a (4F) with ex and (3F) with my BF. I’m the custodial parent with both. I do try and co-parent with my ex because that is my oldest father and he is a good father to her, terrible partner. Lol. Our relationship is amicable for the sake of oldest.
I’m not taking that relationship from her. He comes and gets her for two days of the week.
My ex is in a much better place financially than I am. He was getting oldest a costume and asked me if I wanted him to get something for my youngest daughter. I took him up on it. (Finances are really tight.)
[My BF] is very angry that I didn’t tell him about it (says this is the most I’ve ever hurt him). The conversation happened yesterday with my ex through text, and with life going on I just didn’t think to tell BF about it. (I have MS and ADHD. I seriously just didn’t think about it. I have issues with my memory.)
I apologized for hurting his feelings and that I didn’t tell him. I guess it hurt his pride as well. Which I can kinda get…
My concern is on the girls though. I’m happy that both my tiny humans have Halloween costumes. He is also mad that I think it’s okay for my ex to [get] his daughter a costume.
It’s just a costume?!
Are my thought/ feelings wrong on this? I seriously want to know?
I’m currently getting the silent treatment…
- 451 VOTES
They're Dealing With Their Mid-Distance Relationship
From Redditor u/BRHypeZz:
Hey guys, just needed some advice and wanted to reach out and ask for some advice for how I should deal with a certain scenario. Recently my girl best friend and I started dating; things have been absolutely amazing. We are both 20; she goes to a school that’s two hours from me. I completely trust her when she goes out but I definitely do have trust issues from past relationships; most recently [I] got cheated on twice and didn’t find out till months later. I have voiced my concern over that and she gives me reassurance when needed because she does go out every weekend, but that’s just her personality. Also, being two hours away I have seen her half the weekends she has been at college wether she comes to visit me or I visit her.
That’s just the backstory, so for Halloween, it’s probably my favorite holiday and I would love to spend it with her, but I don’t know how I should go about it. I’ve brought it up one time while I was at her school a month ago, and when I brought it up she kinda dodged it with inviting me to her semiformal, which I was obviously very happy about since we weren’t dating at the time. The next time I said something along the lines of “idk what I should do for Halloween” and she said why don’t you go up and visit… (one of my best friends) and I was like ehhh a five-hour drive is a bit of hike.
I haven’t brought it up since [because] I really don’t wanna get like a pity invite; I would rather her to actually want me there.
The only reason I could think of is that her school is a bar school and she’s a girl so they don’t really give her a problem getting in, but I have been denied from bars while I was up there.
If that’s the reason I completely understand, but I feel bad being like “is the only reason you don’t want me to come up because I may get denied from the bars,” but if you guys think that’s the best way to go about it, I would love the input. Thanks!
- 5140 VOTES
Their Boyfriend Thought Someone Else With The Same Costume Was His Girlfriend
From a former Redditor:
First off I feel like a silly teenager (no offense to teenagers) for posting this. The answer on what I should do seems sort of black and white, but hear me out.
Saturday night my boyfriend and I went out with a bunch of our friends in the city and properly did the bar crawl. I was dressed up like Jessica Rabbit. We started at about 7 and around midnight we went to a bar with a dance floor. We don't normally do the dance scene, but it was "Halloween" and we were already super smashed so it seemed like a good idea. We only stayed for about an hour before we decided to end the night at a friend's Halloween house party. We had met another Jessica Rabbit at the bar who one of my friends sort of knew from a place he used to work, and since alcohol makes you suddenly think everyone is your best friend, we all told her to come along and bring her friends. I didn't think much about her; she was nice, looked good in her costume, was sort of quiet despite being drunk. She did pay a lot of attention to my boyfriend, but most people do - he is crazy attractive and really personable, plus he was wearing very little clothing in a Tarzan costume.
We all get to the party and take some shots, dance a little, smoke a little weed (Colorado, it's legal!), and then start to wind down and get pooped out. My boyfriend said he got a little carried away with the cross-faded stuff and needed to just go lie down for like 30 minutes so he doesn't get sick. I stayed in the kitchen and shoved my face with a bunch of food.
I decided to go check on the boyfriend after a few minutes. I walked into other Jessica Rabbit with my boyfriend. So not my finest moment but I went pretty Rambo on this girl's a** and ended up throwing my vodka soda in her face and basically chasing her out of the house, which was chaos because it was crowded and no one knew what was going on and her friends tried to get involved. My boyfriend was also following me repeatedly saying he thought it was me and didn't know it was her.
I told my boyfriend to stay away from me and that I was leaving and not to come home that night. It was mortifying. All my friends knew what happened and I was bawling my eyes out with Halloween makeup running everywhere. I took a cab home and ignored all my boyfriend's texts and calls. He did come home that night at like 3 am and tried to get in bed and cuddle me. I told him to gtfo and go sleep on the couch.
The next morning I told him to go stay with friends so I had space and time to think. He was crying and told me over and over that he did not know it was not me and that he was so sorry and to please not leave him.
So that happened. I called out of work today because I am a disaster. I love my boyfriend so much. We have been together almost three years, he is so sweet and thoughtful, really funny and witty, and attractive as hell. We have never had any issues with cheating and he has never even been remotely inappropriate with other women. I really thought he would be my future husband. I do not know if or how I should forgive him and I do not even know if he is telling the truth. I know he was really wasted but... I am 5'1", weigh 102 pounds, super petite, curvy with a big bum and pretty large breasts that were looking really big in that costume. The other girl was probably about 5'9" or 10", very thin and shapeless, and very flat-chested. Our bodies look nothing alike, and even with all the makeup, our faces are nothing alike either.
Even in my drunkest moment I would not have made a mistake that major when it comes to not recognizing my boyfriend. I can't help but wonder if he was just drunk and excited to get a bj so he let it happen even knowing it was not me. I do not know what to do. I want to believe him and forgive him but I don't know if I can. Right now I do not even want to look at him. Any thoughts on the matter? Suggestions?
- 643 VOTES
They Want To Hang Out With Their Friend Without Giving The Wrong Signals
From Redditor u/Working_Passenger219:
I (19F) have a friend (20M) that wants to hang out for Halloween. I’m pretty sure he likes me but I have a boyfriend and I don’t want it to feel weird between us two since we’re just friends. He was thinking on carving pumpkins or going to the state fair, but that feels too much like a couple activity with just the two of us. I’d definitely do those things with him if I had a female friend to bring with me to make it less weird, but all of my friends are out of state for college and some I grew away from :(( I would like to hang out with him, but knowing he has feelings for me just makes it weird to plan anything, especially when I have a boyfriend… (also my boyfriend is long distance atm so I can’t invite him either). Any tips/advice???