Posted on Reddit by u/seeker7628:
Hey! I’m 28F and my girlfriend Jade is 28F. We’ve been together for 4 years.
Every year for Valentine’s day, Jade spends the entire day and evening with her best friend Brooke. They call it ‘Gal-entine’s Day’ and started this tradition when they were younger and single. The first year we were dating, I didn’t think anything of it because we were a fairly new couple. the second year I was a bit bummed out and told Jade that and said maybe next year we can spend it together and she said yeah maybe. The third year I asked again and she said no, it’s her and Brookes day. Now we’re coming up on our fourth Valentine’s day and I’m wondering how to handle this. Brooke has been single this entire time.
I know most people roll their eyes at Valentine’s day, but there’s two reasons why this is important to me. Jade knows about all of this, we’ve had this conversation more than once. First, I was never allowed to celebrate any of those Holidays growing up (Halloween, Vday, Christmas, etc.), and so I really enjoy going all out celebrating Holidays now that I can. I think that Valentine’s day is a cute reminder of how much you love and appreciate your partner, and it’s special time carved out each year to be a bit cheesy with your love.
Second, not quite as important but still relevant, we live in a small town that really hypes up those Holidays and always puts on really fun activities. They generally have a market, some games, stuff like that. The Valentines one is all set up to be very romantic and cute, and the restaurants set up the tables in twos with candles and balloons lol. Jade goes with Brooke, and I don’t go at all. I don’t want to go alone given everything is set up for couples, and my friends are all dating or married so they go with their partners.
We’ve talked in the past about spending V-day with all 3 of us, but Jade says that ruins the idea of it being a “gal-entines” with no partners, and I also don’t really want that either. I also think I should throw in here that this has absolutely nothing to do with Brooke, I think she’s wonderful and there’s no issue there at all.
I don’t want to break their ‘tradition’, but after waiting 4 years I would like to spend at least one Valentine’s day with my partner instead of sitting at home on the couch. Any advice on how to handle this? Am I being ridiculous/should I just drop it or is it fair of me to want this?
edit: to all the creepy men inboxing me offering to be my valentine’s date… I didn’t think it was possible for me to be even more gay than I already am, but somehow you’ve done it!